"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."
The author proposed that a new club in the Monroe can make huge money because the current nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. Moreover, jazz is a very popular music and last year more than 100,000 people attended a jazz festival. Also, the radio program "Jazz night" telecasts every weeknight and fan spends close to $10000 dollars per year on jazz music. However, the proposal contains some flaws and will not be accepted if it fails to answer some critical assumption and also useful to draw an accurate conclusion.
Firstly, the author assumes that the city people of the Monroe can go to only jazz club that is 65 miles away. It could be possible that another club has in the city but not practice jazz music. Moreover, a national study indicates that fan spends close to $1000 dollars in jazz entertainment. The provided statement had a lack of clarity. The author did not clearly provide any data that proves the statement. Besides, how many people were participated in is not ambiguous and vague.
Secondly, last summer more than 100,000 people attended the jazz music festival and jazz musicians perform live does not mean that jazz is popular music. Moreover, there is no evidence that how many people came in the festival from outside and the population of the Monroe city. The jazz musician can attend any the program and for that do not need to the popularity of the music. For instance, India had one of the popular music folk which is not popular in recent time. But, the folk musician attends many popular program or festival in India. In the proposal, there is enough information about the government budget and how many companies are profitable by the festival. Thus the assumption undermines the statement.
Thirdly, according to author radio host the "Jazz Night" every weeknight. But, my point is if the club C-Note will establish and then who will listen to the radio program on the weeknight. On the other hand, if city people will be going to a club then how the "Jazz Night" will be propular. It can also possible that the people of the city are too languish to go outside and that's why listen to music and also most of the fan are retired person.
While the overall hypothesis is quite interesting but required more information to validate the proposal. Without further evidence the view of the writter in uncinvincing and also not well reasoned.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-07-31 | Seema Modak | 46 | view |
| 2019-07-14 | himanshugarg | 83 | view |
| 2019-07-14 | himanshugarg | 83 | view |
- tpo 37One of the threats to endangered sea turtle species is the use of nets by commercial shrimp-fishing boats. When turtles get accidentally caught in the nets, they cannot rise to the surface of the ocean to breathe, and they die. Some people suggest t 75
- A recent study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found that employees with paid sick leave are 28% less likely to be involved in a work-related accident than employees that do not receive payment for the sick leave. Researchers hypothesize 50
- tpo 36Hail—pieces of ice that form and fall from clouds instead of snow or rain—has always been a problem for farmers in some areas of the United States. Hail pellets can fall with great force and destroy crops in the field. Over the last few decades, 73
- It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- tpo 05As early as the twelfth century A.D., the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their "great houses," massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand three or four stori 75
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 1912 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.329 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.05 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.783 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 83, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'current the nearest'.
Suggestion: current the nearest
... Monroe can make huge money because the current nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. Moreover, j...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... Monroe can go to only jazz club that is 65 miles away. It could be possible that...
^^
Line 5, column 675, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...mpanies are profitable by the festival. Thus the assumption undermines the statement...
^^^^
Line 7, column 365, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to languish'?
Suggestion: to languish
...ossible that the people of the city are too languish to go outside and thats why listen to m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 369, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'languished'.
Suggestion: languished
...ble that the people of the city are too languish to go outside and thats why listen to m...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 396, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...city are too languish to go outside and thats why listen to music and also most of th...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, well, while, for instance, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1998.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84951456311 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52138090618 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.461165048544 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.8422414285 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 86.8695652174 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9130434783 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.65217391304 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306125765909 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0895133878193 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0954324490376 0.0701772020484 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166628389771 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102179676616 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.