A memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham college has an argument that fails for multiple reasons. The director makes several assumptions that in order to meet the needs of students, there should be new dorms which will attract more students to apply and enroll to the college.
First, the memo states that in order for housing needs of students are met, there should construction of new number of dorms. The director does not state why building new dorms will meet the housing needs of students. Have students been asked? Did he do a survey? How did he conclude that new dorms are needed? Is it already crowded and there is no space for students who want to live on campus? In order to meet the needs of students, it is important to know more about what they think or to understand the current situation with the dorms.
Furthermore, the reason behind building new dorms is due to the fact that recently enrollment is growing. The argument fails to further back up his assumption that in 50 years the number of enrollment students will double. It could be that recently, maybe just during this year, there was more students enrolled than usual. Does number of enrollment equal number of students who live on campus? If there is more students that enroll, that doesn’t necessarily mean they will dorm. Depending where the campus is located, students can commute to campus.
Next, the director states that average off-campus apartments rent has risen, making it harder for students to live off campus. Though, there are student living off campus and they are paying more rent, students may not be living on campus because it is more expensive. Dorming at college campuses is more expensive than renting an apartment near campus. If Buckingham College decides to build new apartment, they’re more likely to be more expensive than living off campus. We can’t assume that because there will be more and new apartments, students living off-campus will move in to the dorms, chances are not likely new dorms will more likely be more expensive. Also, we can’t infer that because there are new dorms in Buckingham College, more students will enroll to the college.
Lastly, the memo of the director fails to prove his argument that building new dorms will meet the needs of students at Buckingham College for a numerous number of assumptions. New dorms does not mean the needs of students are met, that more students living off-campus will move to on-campus, and that more students will enroll.
- From Managing director of buckingham college.To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus 23
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- SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Mi 50
- "Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twic 63
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2029 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.73 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.318 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.652 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.596 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.304 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 399, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are more students'?
Suggestion: there are more students
...mber of students who live on campus? If there is more students that enroll, that doesn't necessar...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 146, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'students'?
Suggestion: students
...s to live off campus. Though, there are student living off campus and they are paying m...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 799, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re students will enroll to the college. Lastly, the memo of the director fails ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 8, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will enroll to the college. Lastly, the memo of the director fails to prove ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, lastly, may, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2114.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 427.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95081967213 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47832278275 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.400468384075 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 627.3 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.7746299351 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.9130434783 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5652173913 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.95652173913 5.70786347227 34% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209823853392 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.084871897866 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0733940574125 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161847632357 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0507866600493 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.