In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at aleading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work.
The author proposed that in Megapolis the corporate firms need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours of work. The author also claims that the law school graduate declined by 15% over the last three years in large corporate firms. However, the proposal has contained some critical flaws and will not be accepted if it fails to answer some assumptions. Moreover, the assumption will draw an accurate conclusion and reject the faulty assumption.
At first, the author proclaims that graduates are declining by 15% over the last three years. But, the author did not mention the total number of graduate. It is possible that the graduates are increased over the three years period and the percentage is still the same but comparing with the three years back result the percentage is decreased. Moreover, the proposal does not clearly state the number of overall graduates and the number of the graduate of the Megalopolis. Besides, the survey of the first-year students did not reflect the goal of the fresh graduate because in three years period the goal can be changed.
Secondly, the law school graduate claims that they are satisfied to work in small firms than the large corporate firms because job satisfaction and experience is more important than salary. But, in small firms, the employee will be less experienced and to gain experience and knowledge about the work need an experienced leader who can supervise. Thus, the assumption undermining the proposal.
The third issue, the author claim in conclusion that Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and also reduce the number of hours of work. My question is, if the fresh graduate is more focused on the experience and job satisfaction then why they are wanting more benefits and reduction of work hours. Thus, reduction of work hour and more benefit means increase wage then the fresh graduates are less interested in incentive and job satisfaction.
While the overall hypothesis is quite interesting but the proposal is vague and ambiguous. Required more information to validate the proposal and to implement.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1755 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.014 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.484 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.882 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 276, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ence and job satisfaction then why they are wanting more benefits and reduction of work hou...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1803.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 350.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15142857143 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68066546718 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.442857142857 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 548.1 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.4953488194 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.058823529 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5882352941 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.94117647059 5.70786347227 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317163844668 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102805255892 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0909268411569 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160277533716 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0866766337741 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.