Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation states that any child wishing to attend a dance school in Elmtown should pick Pirouettes Ballet School. A number of reasons are provided relating to why Pirouettes is the best dance school in Elmtown, however, these reasons stir up a number of questions that need to addressed in order for the recommendation to be properly evaluated.
One of the reasons provided for why Pirouettes would be a better choice compared to other dance schools is it's intensive program, which is stated to be more intensive than any of the other schools in Elmtown. A problem with this statement is that it leaves the question of what exactly the word intensive implies. "Intensive" is a descriptor that can be subjectively interpreted. For example, one dancer might call his 30-minute hip-hop routine intensive while another dancer might think that the routine is barely intensive at all. As such, the recommendation should further explain what exactly Pirouettes' "intensive" program entails, as well as how it differs from other local programs, so that prospective students and their parents can judge the "intensity" of the program for themselves.
The recommendation also states that Pirouettes' teachers have had experiences dancing in "prestigious" ballet companies. The word "prestigious" contains an air of subjectivity and as such, does not provide much information to prospective students regarding the ability of the school's teachers. Other dance schools in Elmtown could have teachers that have had decades of experience teaching dance and would thus make these schools better options compared to Pirouettes, which only states it's teachers have danced in "prestigious ballet companies". Thus, another question that needs to be answered is regarding the qualifications of Pirouettes' dance teachers. The recommendation should include specific ballet companies that Pirouettes' teachers have danced in, in addition to the number of years that they have danced, and have taught dance. This additional information will help new students and parents decide if the teachers at Pirouettes are qualified enough to teach dance.
The final part of the recommendation states that many of Pirouette's students went on to become professional dancers at top dance companies. This statement is void of useful information that could help a potential new student make a decision. First of all, the word "many" does not describe how many of Pirouette's students went on to become successful. Secondly, the word "top" is again a subjective word that doesn't provide specific information. Thus, in order for prospective students to learn about the outcomes of other students who attended Pirouettes, the recommendation should include statistical information on how many students went on to become successful professional dancers. Additionally, the names of the "top" dance companies should also be listed out so that there is no ambiguity regarding where previous students went on to dance.
In conclusions, there a number of additions that can be made to the recommendation in order for prospective students to make an evaluation of Pirouette’s Ballet School.
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| 2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
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- Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have 29
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
in GRE, we don't question the words used, but try to find the loopholes from the context.
the following is the wrong way to make arguments:
"Intensive" is a descriptor that can be subjectively interpreted. ..
The word "prestigious" contains an air of subjectivity...
First of all, the word "many" does not describe how many of Pirouette's students went on to become successful. Secondly, the word "top" is again a subjective word that doesn't provide specific information. ...
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samples:
"Intensive" is a descriptor that can be subjectively interpreted. Fo
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2601 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.308 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.982 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 201 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.795 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 430, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...p' is again a subjective word that doesnt provide specific information. Thus, in ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2765.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 489.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.65439672802 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.58464367136 2.78398813304 129% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.427402862986 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 835.2 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7217771231 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.25 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.45 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355123397473 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126727153813 0.0743258471296 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0949192487392 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218936292407 0.128457276422 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.07722426501 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.79 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.