In the prompt, the author posits that a new seafood restaurant, Captain Seafood, would be successful in Bay City. He rationalizes his assumption by citing a recent study that found an increase in consumption of seafood dishes at local restaurants as well as a nationwide study of putatively similar households as those found in Bay City which. While it is plausible that the author’s suggestion might ultimately prove reasonable, he should adduce three pieces of further evidence in order to bolster the validity of his argument.
First, the author should provide evidence that the cited 30 percent increase in seafood dish consumption in area restaurants is indeed significant. Perhaps the overall Bay City restaurant-going population has grown 300 percent, in which case a 30 percent increase in seafood dish consumption might actually represent an overall decline in the popularity of seafood. Or if, for example, five years ago, only 10 seafood dishes were ordered each year across the entire city, and now that number has risen to 13, then that 30 percent increase would hardly warrant constructing an entire seafood restaurant. Without evidence that the increase found in the recent sales study is substantially significant, then his assumption that a seafood restaurant would be profitable rests on shaky ground.
Additionally, the author should prove that the nationwide study mentioned is representative of Bay City residents. It is possible that, unlike families surveyed nationally, the majority of Bay City families prefer to cook most of their meals at home despite being dual-income households. For instance, maybe one of those incomes tends to be from a part-time job in Bay City, allowing that partner to cook dinner at home on a regular basis. Or perhaps the majority of Bay City residents identify with a different culture than the households surveyed nationally and actually have extended relatives living together as one family. In this case, the majority of Bay City households could have two adults working full time to support the entire household financially, while other adults such as grandparents remain at home and attend to domestic duties such as cooking meals for everyone. It would behoove the author to demonstrate that the nationwide study regarding families’ meal preferences is applicable to Bay City.
Even if the nationwide study can be determined to adequately represent Bay City households, the author ought to give evidence that the proposed Captain Seafood restaurant would, in fact, be popular and therefore profitable. If, for instance, people do prefer “healthful eating” as the nationwide study suggests, yet the proposed Captain Seafood restaurant specializes in unhealthy seafood options such as breaded, fried fish, then consumers may find it unappealing and choose to dine elsewhere. Similarly, Captain Seafood might be unpopular due to focusing solely on seafood if families prefer to eat at restaurants offering wide varieties of dishes on the menus to suit the individual tastes of all diners in the group. The author would be wise to elaborate on why Captain Seafood would be an appropriate match for the dining preferences in Bay City.
To conclude, although the author’s assertion that a Captain Seafood restaurant would be popular and profitable in Bay City might hold true in the end, his position is currently hindered by several assumptions. He could enhance the persuasiveness of his argument by providing the three pieces of additional evidence outlined above.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 557 350
No. of Characters: 2910 1500
No. of Different Words: 262 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.858 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.224 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.865 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 229 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 182 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 128 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.914 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 709, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...ouseholds could have two adults working full time to support the entire household financi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dequately represent Bay City households, the author ought to give evidence that t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, if, may, regarding, similarly, so, then, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, in fact, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2988.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 557.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3644524237 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85807034144 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95575361092 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 271.0 204.123752495 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486535008977 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 935.1 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.6832716837 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.263157895 119.503703932 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.3157894737 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.21052631579 5.70786347227 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34993620044 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122365614835 0.0743258471296 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0832528993727 0.0701772020484 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210466488738 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0977024930701 0.0628817314937 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 14.3799401198 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.4 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 152.0 98.500998004 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.