A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author argument that first borns monkeys and humans produces high level of cortisol in simulating situations on an assumption that first time mother monkey had higher level of cortisol that did those who has several offspring. Stated in this way, author has manipulated certain facts which provide us with misguided agrument. In the absense of validity of these facts, the argument by author is seriously flawed and unconvincing.
First of all, the assumption that higher level of cortisol are attributed to specifically to first born is slightly misguided, there are possibility of having other parameters, which author has not considered and attribute to the higher level of cortisol hormones. For example, first born siblings in case of monkeys or humans, have to experience every thing first hand. Also, when compared to their younger siblings, obviously their brains are more developed and react in better way. Clearly, until we understand the variation between the age group, on which this study was conducted, we cannot treat the argument as credible.
Secondly, other assumption used is about the hormone level of first time mother having higher level of cortisol hormones
This assumption is not credible, as we do not know, what part the cortisol level play, in terms of pregnancy. For instance, The very excitement of being mother can be contributed, and there are chances, that these hormones subsided after some time of pregnancy. Obviously, we can related that level of cortison harmones can be contributed to the animated state of the body and cannot be termed as herdiatery unless claimed by other studies. Thus, the assumption that level of cortison harmones in first time pregnancy does not stand on any solid ground and therefore unconvincing.
To make argument more convincing, we need to answer few questions first like what was the level of cortison harmones in the first borns of varing age group, when they undergone the similar simulating environment. Secondly, Is there is a possibility that pregnant mother can trigger higher level of cortison harmones in their child during child birth.
Without having answers to these questions, assumptions remain unconvincing and misguided. It would be far fetch to generalize that first borns monkeys or human have higher level of cortisol hormones as the support provided for this need additional justification.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1958 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.153 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.63 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.979 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 281, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'relate'
Suggestion: relate
...me time of pregnancy. Obviously, we can related that level of cortison harmones can be ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lid ground and therefore unconvincing. To make argument more convincing, we nee...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2020.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 380.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31578947368 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73800076688 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.494736842105 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 623.7 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2826425771 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.666666667 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3333333333 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.26666666667 5.70786347227 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.111131071536 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.03900784178 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.048179945433 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0652624644575 0.128457276422 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0468107305386 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.