In the illustrated argument the author has concluded from a survey on adults that to ameliorate well-being; people should strictly limit the time they spend online. In order to justify the argument, author has stated a study which reported that adults spending more than 30 hours online each week were found with the symptoms of depression. And it was deducted that because of spending much time online they were finding trouble in concentrating and feeling sad, down, or blue. However, the evidence author has presented look cogent at the first glance; they are based on some vague assumptions. It would be perfunctory to deduce the result without analysis of possible factors.
Firstly, the data of finding symptoms of depressing in the adults is having no particular reason. Author has assumed that this symptoms were the result of excessive use of internet. There are also possibilities of other reasons. Maybe those adults surveyed were having job issues, or family issues. It could be possible that they were finding difficulties in financial or social level. Who were the adults? Maybe they were working for computer tech company or a company in which they have to work online. And that is the reason why they were online for more than average time. If it is their work to be online than the solution is meaning less.
Secondly, problem in keeping concentration was reported. But being online can not be resulted in lack of concentration. Maybe the other environment factor was behind this fault. And how the conclusion was justified? If its was deduced by a common test then may be apathy for the test subject is the reason. 20 percent adults reported of feeling sad or blue three times withing the past month. But what were their condition before. Have they never felt such change before or maybe they have noticed because they were asked to. To compare without past data it can not be a strong reason to conclusion.
Summing up, all the facts and studies presented for the conclusion are questionable. Further analysis is needed. To strengthen the argument author needs some data about the nature of study, profession of adults surveyed, a glance at possible factors behind the concentrating effect and the clear social financial factors affecting mood. Past data of the studies is also required.
- The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores."Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since 54
- The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto MovieTheater."Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It shou 43
- Some people believe it is imperative for individuals living in developed nations to reduce their energy consumption and lead a more sustainable lifestyle, given the evidence for global climate change. Others believe that such drastic lifestyle changes are 83
- A recent survey of 250 adults between 30-45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online e 66
- Children should not be forced by law to be educated by either public schools or home schooling if their parents do not wish them to do so. 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 450, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ere finding trouble in concentrating and feeling sad, down, or blue. However, the...
^^
Line 1, column 522, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wever, the evidence author has presented look cogent at the first glance; they ar...
^^
Line 3, column 123, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ticular reason. Author has assumed that this symptoms were the result of excessive u...
^^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: NON_ACTION_CONTINUOUS[3]
Message: The verb mean is usually not used with a continuous form, use the simple form instead. Suggestion: 'means'
Suggestion: means
...eir work to be online than the solution is meaning less. Secondly, problem in keeping c...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...eir work to be online than the solution is meaning less. Secondly, problem in keeping c...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 381, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t data of the studies is also required.
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'well']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.228235294118 0.25644967241 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.204705882353 0.15541462614 132% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0823529411765 0.0836205057962 98% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0376470588235 0.0520304965353 72% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0423529411765 0.0272364105082 156% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.122352941176 0.125424944231 98% => OK
Participles: 0.0847058823529 0.0416121511921 204% => Less participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.57711477776 2.79052419416 92% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0211764705882 0.026700313972 79% => OK
Particles: 0.00235294117647 0.001811407834 130% => OK
Determiners: 0.0941176470588 0.113004496875 83% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0141176470588 0.0255425247493 55% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0141176470588 0.0127820249294 110% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2317.0 2731.13054187 85% => OK
No of words: 386.0 446.07635468 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.00259067358 6.12365571057 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.57801047555 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.383419689119 0.378187486979 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.264248704663 0.287650121315 92% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.158031088083 0.208842608468 76% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0932642487047 0.135150697306 69% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57711477776 2.79052419416 92% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 207.018472906 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523316062176 0.469332199767 112% => OK
Word variations: 57.7038162433 52.1807786196 111% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.039408867 135% => OK
Sentence length: 14.2962962963 23.2022227129 62% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5309177579 57.7814097925 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.8148148148 141.986410481 60% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.2962962963 23.2022227129 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.481481481481 0.724660767414 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.14285714286 78% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.58251231527 167% => OK
Readability: 40.7211667626 51.9672348444 78% => OK
Elegance: 1.52892561983 1.8405768891 83% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327766517209 0.441005458295 74% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0893969622791 0.135418324435 66% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0771130847796 0.0829849096947 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.403778439751 0.58762219726 69% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.140615816041 0.147661913831 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104073580678 0.193483328276 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0873594616479 0.0970749176394 90% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.376985328125 0.42659136922 88% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0937857235761 0.0774707102158 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228929279233 0.312017818177 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0741912948529 0.0698173142475 106% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.33743842365 36% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.87684729064 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.82512315271 228% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 2.0 6.46551724138 31% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.82389162562 212% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.