There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives
In the argument, there are two places, one of them is small town Leeville and the other one is large city Masonton. The author claimed that Leeville's relaxed pace life promotes better health and greater longevity than Masonton who has hectic pace. And also the business in small town reports that Leeville pople use less sick day than Masonton, and moreover they have only one physician for one thousand resident of Leeville. However this proportion, physician to resident, is five times higher in Masonton. And finally he claimed that small town residents' average age is significantly higher than the large city. All these claims show that Leeville allows residents to live longer and healthier lives. However, author's idea is supported with insufficient information to make a decision.
Firstly, his assumptions only reinforced with words, in anywhere of the argument we are not able to see any numbers for age. He mentioned only small town residents has better health and greater longevity. But he did not give us exact information how many years Leville resident live longer than Masonton. Moreover, we are not informed about maybe all young generation moved to Masontown to work, maybe small town's work circumstances are not adequate for young generation. Maybe in this small town only elderly people live, to articulate which place has greater longevity we need an information of how demographic both cities, who mostly live in there.
Additionally, there is only one physician for one thousand of resident of Leeville, but this proportion is 5 times more in Masonton. The author implied that if the physician number is more, that is mean large city residents needs more health issue than small town. Because of this their physician numbers are higher than small town. However, this higher proportion is also shows maybe their medical services are better than small town, they may more responsible with their patient. Nevertheless, it also gives us an idea of, maybe population in large city much more than small town and the more physician is over there, and also it could be large city has more universities as a result of this, maybe they have more physician. His assumptions are really myopic like how depended his idea that he only consider small town people more healthy, in consequence of this they have one physician.
And also, physicians are responsible from physical status of our body, their profession is not sufficient to deal with important disease, like diabetes, high blood pressure, hearth problems. how he assumed that physicians can help residents to live longer, nevertheless how one physician is enough for one thousand people. He never mentions about how many doctors in both place, which is more comparing to residents to land ratio?
Moreover, he mentioned about sick days usage also, which is low in small town oppositely it is high in Masanton. Regardless of this little information, we can say that maybe more population creates more sickness, whoever gets sick in large city, and the rest of the population prone to sick as well. Because in large cities people live so close each other, on the other hand small town people's house far from each other, and also their work are and people proportion is much lower density than large city, which creates naturally more sick days.
In conclusion, his assumptions are not enough to give our final decision that small towns relaxed pace makes people live longer and healthier. The author should inquire additional information, like how is the distribution of population, what kind of business both region have, how many doctor are there in both place. All after these supplementary information he can give his decision
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| 2023-08-12 | okazaki11 | 73 | view |
| 2023-06-14 | weonalaz | 78 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 609 350
No. of Characters: 3020 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.968 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.959 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.423 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.208 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 427, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... for one thousand resident of Leeville. However this proportion, physician to resident,...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...eeds more health issue than small town. Because of this their physician numbers are hig...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 192, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
..., high blood pressure, hearth problems. how he assumed that physicians can help res...
^^^
Line 17, column 35, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'days'' or 'day's'?
Suggestion: days'; day's
... Moreover, he mentioned about sick days usage also, which is low in small town ...
^^^^
Line 21, column 282, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun doctor seems to be countable; consider using: 'many doctors'.
Suggestion: many doctors
... kind of business both region have, how many doctor are there in both place. All after thes...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, really, so, well, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 28.8173652695 187% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3113.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 609.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11165845649 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96768813016 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59961753529 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436781609195 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 981.9 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.5531613566 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.296296296 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5555555556 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.55555555556 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246482344617 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.085089786189 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.094376496644 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135247007952 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0934631538692 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.