There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
According to the prompt, the author recommends that people who are seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities in small towns. The author provides the reason that, the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity as compared to the hectic life of big cities. The evidences given to support this reason are about number of sick leaves taken by the workers and about the proportion of physicians. But, in my opinion, the argument is based on several unstated assumptions and the author should answer the following three questions before the recommendation is considered.
To begin, is the less number of sick leaves by the workers of Leeville exclusively due to them being healthier than the workers in Masonton? There is no direct correlation between the number of ‘sick leaves’ and the health of the community as ‘sick leaves’ can be taken for a lot of different reasons. For example, if a person for the large city is injured or suffers an car accident, she might take a sick leave from the workplace. This will add to the count of ‘sick leaves’ in the report, but it has no direct relation to the health of the person. Another example might be that, some dishonest people might be taking sick leaves for other purposes than sickness. But even here, the count of ‘sick leaves’ increases without a direct impact in the health of the community.
Furthermore, is the ratio of physicians to citizens a quantitative factor to measure the health of citizens? It might be the case that, there is lack of availability of physicians in Leeville and thus, the ratio is very low. On the contrary, Masonton being a big city, might attract physicians from around the country and thus maintains its physician to citizen ratio. Less number of physicians is a town does not translate into a healthier population. In contrast, as there is only one physician, there might be a time when she is not able to handle the entire load of patients and thus, the health metric of the town declines due to inadequate medical facilities.
Moreover, does higher average age of a community signify better health of the population? It might be the case that, Leeville is a town with more number of retired and old people living, thereby increasing the average age of the town. While the younger generation may have ventured out to Masonton, for work or education. Thus, the average age of Masonton is lower. Average age can never be used to judge the health metric of a community as it just provides a overall number without actually examining the subtle nuances in lifestyle choices or health infrastructure.
In conclusion, the current state of the argument is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unjustified assumptions. If the author is able to answer the aforementioned questions and is able to provide concrete evidence, perhaps in the form of research study, then the viability of the the recommendation to move to smaller communities can be fully evaluated.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2449 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.318 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.731 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.305 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...or the large city is injured or suffers an car accident, she might take a sick lea...
^^
Line 4, column 458, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...tric of a community as it just provides a overall number without actually examini...
^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...f research study, then the viability of the the recommendation to move to smaller commu...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...f research study, then the viability of the the recommendation to move to smaller commu...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, in contrast, in my opinion, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2529.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9298245614 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78894577917 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469785575049 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 800.1 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.7009345956 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.954545455 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3181818182 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.40909090909 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250718167934 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0717211054581 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0959921863192 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120784029881 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102041769246 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.