The tufted groundhog lives in the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg. Ancient records suggest that the tufted groundhog once numbered in the millions. Since they were declared a wildlife sanctuary in 2004, development along the coastal wetlands has been prohibited. Now local development interests are lobbying for the West Lansburg council to allow an access road to be built along the edge of wetlands. Neighboring Eastern Carpenteria, which had a similar sanctuary, has seen its sea otter population decline since the repeal of its sanctuary status in 1978. In order to preserve the region's biodiversity and ensure a healthy environment, the West Lansburg council should not allow the road to be built."
In the letter to editor, It was concluded that in order to preserve region's biodiversity and ensure a healthy environment West Lansburg Council shouldn't allow the road to be built. The conclusion was based on the comparison of situation with that of neighboring Eastern Carpenteria, which has seen its sea otter population decline after the repeal of sanctuary status.
However some additional evidences are required in order to consider this conclusion considerable.
Firstly, The evidence denoting clearly the similarity in biodiversity between West Lansburg and Eastern Carpenteria is required. In other words, it should be shown that the biodiversity of these two places requires identical condition so that similar condition can cause decline in their number. It is possible that the biodiversity of West Lansburg and Eastern Carpenteria requires completely different condition and allowing road to be built have no affect in biodiversity of West Lansburg. However it is also possible allowing road to be built will rather help in promotion and finally their preservation as people becomes more informed. If the evidences for cannot be provided the statement doesn't holds water.
Secondly, It should be made clear that the decline in the number of sea otter in east Carpenteria was caused by decline in sanctuary status only. In other words is there evidence confirming the decline in number of sea otter in only due to decline in sanctuary status and not other. It is possible that due to the increase in pollution in the sea water there number got reduced. However, there is possibility that there number declined naturally. If these two conditions are right then the statement is severely weakened.
Finally , The evidence conforming the similar consequences caused due to declining sanctuary status and allowing road to be built should be provided. It is possible that road can also be built with considering preservation of the biodiversity of that area.
However, there is possibility that road can be built within the sanctuary status.
In the conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to too many unwarranted assumptions. However if the author is able to provide the additional evidences as describe above the argument not allowing road to be built can ensure healthy environment and preserve biodiversity.
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- It was easier in past to find a job 73
- The tufted groundhog lives in the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg Ancient records suggest that the tufted groundhog once numbered in the millions Since they were declared a wildlife sanctuary in 2004 development along the coastal wetlands has been prohi 58
- TOEFL integrated writing Altruism
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- TOEFL Integrated Writing Task Directions In this section you will write a response to a question based on reading passage and a listening passage You have to consider the contents of both passages in order to write a good answer After reading and listenin 3
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1942 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.193 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.907 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.892 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...althy environment West Lansburg Council shouldnt allow the road to be built. The conclus...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... after the repeal of sanctuary status. However some additional evidences are required ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 494, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ffect in biodiversity of West Lansburg. However it is also possible allowing road to be...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 696, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...es for cannot be provided the statement doesnt holds water. Secondly, It should be ...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 448, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y that there number declined naturally. If these two conditions are right then the...
^^
Line 8, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...atement is severely weakened. Finally , The evidence conforming the similar con...
^^
Line 11, column 116, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ue to too many unwarranted assumptions. However if the author is able to provide the ad...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1990.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 372.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34946236559 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96785384733 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.44623655914 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 638.1 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5802437062 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.555555556 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6666666667 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77777777778 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.05470389829 0.218282227539 25% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0223416257526 0.0743258471296 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0215406607387 0.0701772020484 31% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0271272736749 0.128457276422 21% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0212949078653 0.0628817314937 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.