"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as

The homeowner’s letter claims that Adams realty is very much superior then Fitch realty and hiring Adams realty will help selling his friends house very quickly. The conclusions are based on unwarranted assumptions. Primarily, by comparing the number of people working for both the realties and their revenue over the last year is not sufficient to make such claims.

Firstly, the homeowner states that Adams realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch realty has only 25 agents, many of whom work only part-time. This data alone is not sufficient to state superiority of Adams realty. It might be possible that the agents working for Adams are not as proficient as compared to Fitch realty and thus they need to hire more number of agents. A proper look at the projects handled by a single agent in both realties could make matter much more clear.

Secondly, letter states that the last year’s revenue of Adams realty was twice that of Fitch realty and Adams home sales averaged at $168000, compared to Fitch’s $144000. Now nowhere in the letter the sources of this figures have been mentioned and therefore can’t be completely reliable. Let’s say that these are from a reliable source still it does not account for any kind of superiority of one realty over other as the data is only based on last year. It might be possible that for the last year the number of projects handled by Fitch realty were much more and the projects were of varied values then that by Adams realty and thus could have resulted in less averaging. Moreover, it might also be possible that last year Adams realty got bigger projects but were in very few number and that accounted for high revenues and more average.

Thirdly, the homeowner comparing the time taken to sell his house 10 years ago by hiring Fitch realty and doing the same by hiring Adams realty and further making conclusion about Adams realty being better at its job is baseless and unwarranted. Things might have changed over past 10 years and handling to same sale to Fitch realty could have resulted in the same outcome. It is quite possible that real estate market was very down 10 years ago and economy was at a very low point. Without considering such circumstances, jumping to conclusions is not credible.

In sum, by only doing proper research about both the realties and what kinds of projects were handled in what amounts and considering the economic conditions 10 years ago, one could satisfactorily compare both the realties. The homeowner has done none of the above and thus his conclusions are not credible.

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not exactly

suggested:
Another threshold assumption which the letter relies on is that because the revenue of the Adams reality is more than the Fitch's the Adams Reality is superior. The author actually gives the readers no more information. First of all, what does the author means by revenue. If it means the whole revenue of the Reality firms, we should consider that the function of these realities should be analyzed based on the average of the revenues of each of their agents. This is plausible that the revenue of each of the agents in Fitch reality is more than the Adams reality, and because the Fitch's agents are fewer the sum of them becomes less than Adams. Another substantial issue is that, the author did not mention that whether the revenue is the net revenue or just the income of the firms. If the revenue is not net, it is plausible that by subtracting taxes and the wages of the employees of the Adams (because it has more agents) the net revenue become less than the Fitch's.

argument 3 -- OK

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2091 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.731 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.303 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.517 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5