The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president at Climpson Industries claims that the restriction of usage of private sites should enhance the company performance and would further increase the overall profits. Stated in this way, the vice president failed to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To justify it further, the author reasons that through the restriction of shopping and gaming sites, employee can devote more time for the company's work and thus would probably increase the company profits. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little creditable support to vice president claim. Hence, the argument can be considered as incomplete and unsubstantiated.
First of all, it would be necessary to know about the current profits of the company. If the company is already earning a lot of profit then unnecessary monitoring of employee is noting but the wasting of money. Moreover, many employees need a relaxation in between the work by playing games on computer or through online shopping. Blocking of such sites could creates more frustration amongst employees and it can impact the work culture of the company and could lead to resignation of many productive employees. Hence, vice president have to think more in terms of employees mentality about the electroinc monitoring and blocking of sites.
Furthermore, there are various other ways to enhance the company's profits like increasing working hours of company, getting more business for the company etc. Just the blocking of sites doesn't assure that people spent most of their time for doing company's work. Moreover, these softwares contains some yearly subscription which is costly and may be their unnecessary installtion could reduce the company profits by creating more frustration amongst the employees due to lack of access to private sites. For instance, if the company is a high tech company which uses a lot of coding and programming practices then they expect people to work free minded and thus due to this restriction employees minds could also been restricted to work. Hence, the vice president needs to consider other ways for profit also. Just the installation of monitoring softwares doesn't adequately lead to increase in profits.
Admittedly, installation of monitoring softwares reduces the amount of unnecessary time which people daily spends but rather due to installation of such softwares, they can give their relaxation time for other games available in the company like table tennis, foosball, carreom etc. and which could ultimately decline the company profits. Thus, making employee as free as possible is the best way for employee as well as company to work effectively. Hence, vice president should consider other aspects of employees as well before enforcing this regulation.
In conclusion, the vice president's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the vice president should provide better concrete evidences, perhaps by the way of reliable analysis of current profits of company. Finally to better assess the claim, it would be necessary to know more about the other aspects to increase the company profits apart from restriction of sites through electronic monitoring.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Hence, vice president have to think more in terms of employees mentality about the electroinc monitoring and blocking of sites.
Error: electroinc Suggestion: electronic
Sentence: Moreover, these softwares contains some yearly subscription which is costly and may be their unnecessary installtion could reduce the company profits by creating more frustration amongst the employees due to lack of access to private sites.
Error: installtion Suggestion: installation
Sentence: Admittedly, installation of monitoring softwares reduces the amount of unnecessary time which people daily spends but rather due to installation of such softwares, they can give their relaxation time for other games available in the company like table tennis, foosball, carreom etc. and which could ultimately decline the company profits.
Error: foosball Suggestion: football
Error: carreom Suggestion: carrot
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flaws:
the arguments are not right on the point.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 511 350
No. of Characters: 2674 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.755 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.233 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 173 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.882 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'create'
Suggestion: create
... shopping. Blocking of such sites could creates more frustration amongst employees and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 187, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...company etc. Just the blocking of sites doesnt assure that people spent most of their ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 804, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...needs to consider other ways for profit also. Just the installation of monitoring so...
^^^^
Line 5, column 856, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he installation of monitoring softwares doesnt adequately lead to increase in profits....
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 230, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...analysis of current profits of company. Finally to better assess the claim, it would be...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, apart from, for instance, in conclusion, as well as, by the way, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2730.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36345776031 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76623197213 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.447937131631 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 838.8 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.4067075322 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.695652174 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1304347826 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5652173913 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163210679947 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0575755297798 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0340866286386 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108930734095 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0141768610763 0.0628817314937 23% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.