The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company’s president.“In an effort to improve our employees’ productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use f

Essay topics:

The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company’s president.

“In an effort to improve our employees’ productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees’ Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits.”

In this argument, the speaker recommends that in order to increase the productivity and overall profits of the Climpson Industries the company must install software to prevent their employees to use Internet while at work by electronic monitoring of employees Internet usage. The speaker also cites that a recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. The speaker also states that using electronic mintoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climson employees spend on personal or recreational activities.The argument is unconvincing for several reasons.
Firstly, the speakers recommendation relies on the assumption that the national survey correctly depicts the situation which might be also be present in Climson Industries. Perhaps, there might be the possibility that the Climson Industries workers may not be using the company computers for their personal activities but the workers of other Industries around the nation might be using more. So in this situation installing software at Climson Industries to monitor their employees Internet usage will be undesirable as since their employees dont have that habit.
Secondly, the speaker of the argument claims that installing the software will help company to increase their productivity and overall profits by preventing their employees to use Internet. Perhaps, there might be th possibility that the software which need to be installed to monitor the the employees Interet usage might be very costly or may require additional hardware requirements.Along with it there might be the possibility that the annual maintenance costs of these software might outweigh the Industries overall profits. So in this condition the decision of vice president of human ecources at Climson Industries to install such software will result in decreasing of Industries' capital.So, this lack of funds may affect its overall productivity.
Thirdly, the speaker fails to account for the possibility that the workforce of Climson Industries might not be using the company computers for their work purposes. There can be the possibility that Climson Industries entire functioning be based on non-computerised machines and only a meagre amount of work may be carried out on the computers. So in these condition installing software to monitor some workers activities will not produce a significant rise in productivity or overall profits.
In sum, the speakers recommendation to install software to monitor their employees Internet usage is untenable as it fails to account for various other possibilities. To strenghten the argument, the speaker must provide evidence about what amount of employees on Climson Industries have access to Internet. To better assess the argument, we would also like to know more information about the cost of software used to monitor the employees Internet usage and its effect on Industries capital.

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Average: 4.9 (3 votes)
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2020-01-09 Dhruv_P 49 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 315, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... interesting activity for the students. As due to their already having some rough ...
^^
Line 1, column 513, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ttention to every facts taught to them. The chief reason why I agree with the s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...eir explaining facts to students faster as students will be able to derive the bas...
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Line 3, column 816, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...cio-cultural and sports activities. Asd this activities are also a encouraging ones ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 841, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ctivities. Asd this activities are also a encouraging ones for students as they t...
^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lds such as teamwork and cooperation. Secondly, following this method of teach...
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Line 5, column 362, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...ideas which has make this subjects base.For example, if the student knows the recen...
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Line 5, column 825, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ledge by attaining various e-resources. The third reason why my agrement with t...
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Line 7, column 385, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...oth as both will be able to enrich each others knowledge. However, there are some...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ble to enrich each others knowledge. However, there are some fields in which ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thus, as for, for example, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.4196629213 217% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2724.0 2235.4752809 122% => OK
No of words: 552.0 442.535393258 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9347826087 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84713113593 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5353615225 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.413043478261 0.4932671777 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 810.9 704.065955056 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 23.0359550562 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.5434085157 60.3974514979 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.235294118 118.986275619 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.4705882353 23.4991977007 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52941176471 5.21951772744 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249175559886 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0970944085031 0.0831039109588 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0995519763987 0.0758088955206 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144071254527 0.150359130593 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0876809144792 0.0667264976115 131% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 14.1392134831 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 48.8420337079 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 100.480337079 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.2143820225 132% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2536 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.396 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.896 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 177 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.187 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.633 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5