“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”
The argument presented by the apogee company states that they are more profitable when all operations occur in one location rather than operating at multiple locations. they decide to close down their field offices and conduct operations from a single location. flaws in the argument here are :
1. company’s profits are based on where company is present.
2. how are field offices effecting the company?
The conclusion of this argument states that centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees. this conclusion has no clear evidence and makes flawed assumptions.
The argument assumes that the company’s profits are varying based on it’s location. The statements made are a stretch and have no substantial data to back them up. this can be illustrated with a parallelism to an ice cream company is majorly facing issue with their ice cream machines in their two new branches , but fail to recognize the core issue being the machine and shut down the new branches. Similarly, the apogee company must research all other factors that could be affecting their profits and not just the recent change in location of the company. Although, If the company provided numbers where the location of the company is affecting the employees and hence, they are unable to get to work everyday on time, or the travel between multiple locations is time consuming and redundant. Then, this statement may be more convincing.
Second the argument claims that the centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs ad helping company maintain better supervision of all employees. this again is weak and unsupported. they fail to give a clarity of how the cost cutting occurs by relocating their employees. they also fail to mention what kind of methods are going to be taking place that would provide better supervision of employees in comparison to what they have today. this lack in data make their assumption weak and unjustified. this argument could have been more explicit backed with required data.
Finally, the questions at hand are , how can you prove sudden increase in profitability by closing down already established field offices? Considering a growth in employment in the company from previous years, how will they accommodate all the employees in one location ? what methods would lead to cost cutting? what practices are better made for supervision? without convincing answers to these, the claims made are a wishful thinking rather than substantial evidence.
In conclusion, The above mentioned reasons prove why the argument is flawed. And until full knowledge is provided, there can be no strengthening to this case. It is essential to gather all the information required. without which, the statements would be open to debate.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 170, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...r than operating at multiple locations. they decide to close down their field off...
^^^^
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng at multiple locations. they decide to close down their field offices and cond...
^^^
Line 3, column 73, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Flaws
...duct operations from a single location. flaws in the argument here are : 1.new Rom...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 26, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... here are : 1.new Roman';'> company’s profits are based on where com...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 29, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...present. 2.new Roman';'> how are field offices effecting the comp...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 175, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...in better supervision of all employees. this conclusion has no clear evidence and ma...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...idence and makes flawed assumptions. The argument assumes that the company’s ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 67, Rule ID: ABOUT_ITS_NN[25]
Message: Did you mean 'on its location'?
Suggestion: on its location
...the company’s profits are varying based on it’s location. The statements made are a stretch and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 231, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...th a parallelism to an ice cream company is majorly facing issue with their ice c...
^^
Line 13, column 312, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...cream machines in their two new branches , but fail to recognize the core issue be...
^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is statement may be more convincing. Second the argument claims that the cent...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 91, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'costs'' or 'cost's'?
Suggestion: costs'; cost's
... would improve profitability by cutting costs ad helping company maintain better supe...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 162, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...in better supervision of all employees. this again is weak and unsupported. they ...
^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
... this again is weak and unsupported. they fail to give a clarity of how the cost ...
^^^^
Line 19, column 91, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...g occurs by relocating their employees. they also fail to mention what kind of metho...
^^^^
Line 19, column 257, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... in comparison to what they have today. this lack in data make their assumption weak...
^^^^
Line 19, column 319, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... their assumption weak and unjustified. this argument could have been more explicit ...
^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... explicit backed with required data. Finally, the questions at hand are , how...
^^^^^
Line 23, column 35, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... Finally, the questions at hand are , how can you prove sudden increase in pr...
^^
Line 23, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rove sudden increase in profitability by closing down already established field ...
^^^
Line 25, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...ate all the employees in one location ? what methods would lead to cost cutting? wha...
^^^^
Line 25, column 215, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...hat methods would lead to cost cutting? what practices are better made for supervisi...
^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...ces are better made for supervision? without convincing answers to these, the claims...
^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng rather than substantial evidence. In conclusion, The above mentioned reaso...
^^^^^
Line 31, column 216, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...to gather all the information required. without which, the statements would be open to ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, hence, if, may, second, similarly, so, then, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2471.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 453.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.45474613687 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99206112001 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505518763797 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 745.2 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 55.8380472182 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.5185185185 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7777777778 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.22222222222 5.70786347227 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 12.0 5.15768463074 233% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289055426867 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0751372341973 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0874395603334 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119107537981 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0850698399731 0.0628817314937 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.03 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.