170 The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years."
ARGUMENT: Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The conclusion made by the vice president is that the appian roadways should be considered over good intensions roadways for the construction of access roads for all their new shopping malls. Although the vice president may have good intensions behing making such an argument, the conclusion that he drew is based on unsound premises. There are several assumptions and casual arguments made by the vice president which are egregious.
First, the vice president assumes that good intensions roadways is a bad company. he makes this assumption based on the premise that the Route 101, paved just two years ago is now filled with a number of dangerous potholes. there can be a multitude of reasons behind this apart from the lack of commitment to quality from the side of good intensions roadways. It can be due to Route 101 being the most busy route, or because it is being used by all the heavy vehicles rather than domestic cars or bikes. It is even possible that some other company dug up the roads to repair undergound water tubes or to lay down cables. Until the vice president makes himself clear here and shows evidence that shows the roads were infact or inferior quality his argument remains weak.
Moreover, the Route 40 paved by Appian roadways may still be in good condition beacause it has the least traffic compared to the other roads. The route may have no heavy vehicles using it. No statistical data on traffic density has been provided by the vice president in his memo.
Lastly, the fact that appian roadways purchased a state of the art paving machinery doesnt mean that they are the best in business. It is possible that they dont have an employee who is skilled to operate it. The new eqipment with no master to handle it properly just might impair the quality of roads for all we know. The hiring of a new quality-control manager doest help much. The vice president fails to mention his qualifications or his past work.
To conclude, the conclusion was drawn hastly by the vice-president and I remain unconvinced in choosing appian roadways for all the future work. The argument could have been strengthened by including various facts such as the traffic density of the route 101 and route 40, The type of vehichles that use them, the skilled labourers that are present in appian who can operate the state-of-the-art machinery and the qualifications of the new manager. These factors would have made the memo sound a lot more convincing and persuasive than the current one.
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Sentence: It is even possible that some other company dug up the roads to repair undergound water tubes or to lay down cables.
Error: undergound Suggestion: underground
Sentence: Lastly, the fact that appian roadways purchased a state of the art paving machinery doesnt mean that they are the best in business.
Error: doesnt Suggestion: does not
Sentence: The hiring of a new quality-control manager doest help much.
Error: quality-control Suggestion: quality control
Error: doest Suggestion: does not
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Number of Paragraphs: 5 5