170 The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years."
ARGUMENT: Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument recommends that the company should hire Appian Roadways to construct new access roads of the shopping malls for AR can provide a solid quality. This is based on the premises that by comparing its work with the work done by Good Intentions Roadways, another road-built company, and that AR recently updates its machines and hires a new manager. At the first glance, the advice sounds tempting, however, further examination reveals that several questions are still remained to be answered and also they decide whether efficacious effect could be brought as predicted.
First, the vice pr...
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Comments
Thank you!!!
actually, this is my first argument, so it took longer time than required. Thank you for your feedback, I will fix the problems.
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
Sentence: Thus, if the vice president ignore the potential problems like these, the recommendation will not bring the desirous result as predicted.
Description: The fragment president ignore the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ignore with verb, past tense
Sentence: This is based on the premises that by comparing its work with the work done by Good Intentions Roadways, another road-built company, and that AR recently updates its machines and hires a new manager.
Error: road-built Suggestion: road built
Sentence: Because if the road carries over-loaded traffic volume everyday, its longevity may get influenced.
Error: over-loaded Suggestion: overloaded
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
No. of Words: 518 (do you write in half an hour?)
it is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 518 350
No. of Characters: 2542 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.771 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.907 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.15 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5