The following appeared in a letter from the faculty committee to the president of Seatown University:
A study conducted at nearby Oceania University showed that faculty retention is higher when professors are offered free tuition at the university for their own college-aged children. Therefore, Seatown should institute a free-tuition policy for its professors for the purpose of enhancing morale among the faculty and luring new professors.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The observation that Oceania University (OU) which offers free tuition for the wards of the faculty members enjoys a higher retention rate is interesting. However, the suggestion that such a "free tuition policy" should be followed at Seatown University as well needs to be evaluated further in the light of other evidence.
First, the given argument implicitly suggests that faculty retention is higher at Oceania because of the free tuition measure. However, it needs to be understood where this observation is a mere correlation, or does a causal link exist? Specifically, there could be certain other incentives given to OU's faculty which contribute to higher retention, rather than mere provision of free tuition for their wards. Thus, the study should be enhanced by including evidence on other features of OU, so as to isolate the contribution of free tuition policy towards faculty retention.
Further, it is unclear how "high" is the stated faculty retention at OU. Moreover, the reference or comparison point for this evaluation is also missing. Is the retention higher compared to other Universities which do not have this policy? Is the retention rate higher for a particular year when this policy was introduced? Most important, quantification of this increase in retention is necessary, to be able to draw a reliable conclusion.
Finally, before blindly copying OU's policy at Seatown, it is crucial to assess the logistics as well. Does Seatown have sufficient funds to implement this policy? It is possible that the number of faculty memebrs at OU who had college-aged children is very few, hence the policy does not pose a financial burden to the University. In addition, it is possible that OU attracts funds from external sources (generous alumni, philanthrophic organizations) that allow it to pursue such a policy. Seatown might not share these features of OU; thus, the implementation of such a policy here might not be justified.
Since faculty retention is an important issue at most universities, it is interesting to note that a University that offers free tuition for wards of its professors seemsenjoys a higher retention rate. However, this observed correlation cannot be extrapolated and claimed to be a causation. The study conducted at OU linking faculty retention and free tuition needs to present some robust, quantifiable evidence for it to be accepted elsewhere. Furthermore, the unique features of Seatown should be taken into cognizance before embarking upon such an ambitious and possibly expensive policy.
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Sentence: It is possible that the number of faculty memebrs at OU who had college-aged children is very few, hence the policy does not pose a financial burden to the University.
Error: college-aged Suggestion: college aged
Error: memebrs Suggestion: members
Sentence: In addition, it is possible that OU attracts funds from external sources generous alumni, philanthrophic organizations that allow it to pursue such a policy.
Error: philanthrophic Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Since faculty retention is an important issue at most universities, it is interesting to note that a University that offers free tuition for wards of its professors seemsenjoys a higher retention rate.
Error: seemsenjoys Suggestion: seem enjoys
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 404 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 6.369 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5