2. The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
In preparing youths toward leadership in government, industry or other fields, the statement above takes an extreme position; with avoiding instilling a sense of competition the statement recommends instilling a spirit of cooperation in the young generation. I agree with such an assertion in instilling cooperation in youths, but at the same time, youths need to have an active competitive spirit in order to become effective leaders.
To begin with, inducing of a sense of competition in the young generation is required because competition exists in every aspects of life and the young generation needs to know how to deal with competitive situation in order to be ready for leadership. Competition exists in every corner that the demand is more than supply. Some win in satisfying their demands, and some lose because the supply is limited. A leader needs to know how to be a winner in competing with others.
At the same time, to pass sound and sturdy through such a competitive world, the same youth needs to learn how to cooperate. To instill a cooperation spirit means to teach the young generation how to assimilate into a team toward a common goal. Consider such a good role model as Steve Jobs. When he was deciding to do something exceptional, he tried hard to establish a nexus of cooperation between different engineers and in doing that he introduced technological horizons not observable even by the giants of that time such as heads of INTEL. Being a professional in the programming, he made cooperation with other professionals in a variety of fields to achieve great successes. Otherwise, with being alone, Steve jobs could not succeed to such an extend.
Finally, an appropriate way to nurture a leader is to provide him the situations inducing both cooperative and competitive spirits. Consider two successful companies in the hot market of cell phones: Sony and Samsung. They are rivals in the arena of cell phone marketing, one from Japan and the other from South Korea. At the same time they cooperate with each other, for example the LCD of their certain cell phones is the joint product between Sony and Samsung. Having these two successful giants companies in mind, we see that in the competitive world we need to have leaders who know when to compete and when to cooperate to become successful.
In short, we need both to instill competitive and cooperative spirits in the young generation because successful leaders are both possessing some degree of competitiveness and cooperativeness in their characteristics.
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Sentence: Otherwise, with being alone, Steve jobs could not succeed to such an extend.
Description: The fragment an extend . is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace extend with verb, past participle
Description: An article is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to an and extend
Sentence: Having these two successful giants companies in mind, we see that in the competitive world we need to have leaders who know when to compete and when to cooperate to become successful.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to giants and companies
flaws:
Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 420 while No. of Different Words: 202
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2081 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.955 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.929 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.1 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5