Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
It’s always been on, the fight and rebellion against technological advancements or the so called luxuries. What is being said today against smart phones was said against electricity earlier, that it will spoil the youth, that it is a luxury and will make us weak and enfeeble us. Yet today we literally live with smart phones in every hand and electricity being supplied from small batteries.
Consider the invention of the wheel, it lead to a faster way of travel based on animal labor and later lead to the steam engine and today we have automobiles zooming at speeds which were unimaginable few decades ago or take the case of television, another one of the so called luxuries, which lead to such great sides in technology that today we not only have screens that are smaller and show pictures with life-like resolutions but also have ability to respond to touch, something that Farnsworth would most certainly not have imagined, and how about the telephone, which only a few decades ago was a considered a luxury of the rich has today become a need and has transformed from a simple device, to contact people at far off distances, to a computer, which can be used to check emails or search for information on the internet, which has become an inseparable part of today’s life. The so called luxuries have lead us on a path of continuous development and helped us make astounding discoveries, opened doors to amazing opportunities and hence have turned into a need.
Further, there is no evidence to support the claim that technologies may made people weak. In fact, technology has made people in general and women in particular more independent. We need not look further than the Industrial revolution to realize this to be true. Up until 1950s women spent a lot of their time washing dirty laundry, with the invention and mainstreaming of washing machines women were able to save more than 30 minutes per day. Appliances like fridges, steam iron, vacuum cleaner and even running water have had a profound impact on female lives. These domestic technologies liberated women and allowed them to join the workforce. In 1900 about 5% of married women were employed by 1980s about 51% of married women were in the workforce. If a working mother of three performing well in her job and taking care of her children later isn’t a paragon of strength, I do not know what is. People with disabilities have become more independent using technology and have contributed so much to the society, the eminent scientist Prof. Stephen hawking is a good case in point.
But there are always two sides of a coin. The increasing use of technology has also have had a detrimental effect on people’s lives, with the obesity rate rising from a mere 12% to a horrifying 35% in today’s youth. Increasing cases of back pain and slouched shoulders are attributed to sitting in front of a screen all day long. Insomnia and deterioration in eyesight has also been linked to continuous exposure to a glaring screen.
The so called luxuries of the previous generation has become a need today and has triggered advancement in other fields and have helped people become more independent and strong, but moderation should be applied in all spheres of life and hence obsession of or over reliance on technology should be avoided.
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Sentence: Consider the invention of the wheel, it lead to a faster way of travel based on animal labor and later lead to the steam engine and today we have automobiles zooming at speeds which were unimaginable few decades ago or take the case of television, another one of the so called luxuries, which lead to such great sides in technology that today we not only have screens that are smaller and show pictures with life-like resolutions but also have ability to respond to touch, something that Farnsworth
Description: The fragment it lead to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lead with verb, past tense
Sentence: The so called luxuries have lead us on a path of continuous development and helped us make astounding discoveries, opened doors to amazing opportunities and hence have turned into a need.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and lead
Sentence: Further, there is no evidence to support the claim that technologies may made people weak.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and made
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 567 350
No. of Characters: 2683 1500
No. of Different Words: 299 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.88 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.732 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.676 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.461 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.275 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5