The best way for a society to prepare its young for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young for leadership in government, industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

It is good to allocate more budget to the advertising as it will somehow provide benefits to the Super Screen Movie Production Company. But the argument on the basis of which the advertising director is claiming that doing so will attract the customers who are giving a good review to the Super Screem movies may not be true as the argument depends on so many assumptions and has a number of loop holes in it. To analyse the argument further, we need to know the answers of many important questions. These answers will be helpful to determine the logical validity of the argument.
First of all we need to know who are the people because of them the postive reviews are increasing. Are these people the same who are interseted in watching Super Screen movies? Or these people are just reviewers who review the movie just by learning about the story. How many people are reviewing movies? We need to know whether the other people like these movies or not. It may be the case that while these movies are being reviewed good by the reviewers but the other people do not like them much.
Further we need to know the current level of awareness about these super screen movies among the people. If they would be already aware enough then I don't think advertising more would make any difference. In such a scenerio, expanding advertising budget would be a waste of money. Additionally we need to know the advertising budget of the last year. We should make sure that the last advertising budget was not enough for giving the approval to expand it. If the last budget would have allocated more than enough to the advertising then I am afraid that extension would make any difference. In such a case, the company should look for the other reasons of people's absence in the show.
Last but not least, we need to know the budget extension plan in detail. We need to know how extending budget would make people aware. We need to know how this extended budget would be used. If this budget will not be utilized in a proper manner then extension may be proved futile.
Before taking any decision on the advice of the advertising director, the company first should know the exact reason of the people's disinterest. The increasing rate of the positive reviews is not sufficient to conclude that people are not watching super screen movies because they are not aware of good content movies. Along with this, the company should also know the level of awareness among the people about these movies and should ask the director for detailed plan and how the plan will work. By following these steps, the company can diagnose the right problem and can make a better decision.

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Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
It is good to allocate more budget to th...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the logical validity of the argument. First of all we need to know who are the...
^^
Line 2, column 128, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...e increasing. Are these people the same who are interseted in watching Super Screen mov...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e other people do not like them much. Further we need to know the current leve...
^^^
Line 3, column 109, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e super screen movies among the people. If they would be already aware enough then...
^^
Line 3, column 154, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ey would be already aware enough then I dont think advertising more would make any d...
^^^^
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...ising budget would be a waste of money. Additionally we need to know the advertising budget ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...h for giving the approval to expand it. If the last budget would have allocated mo...
^^
Line 3, column 480, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had allocated'?
Suggestion: had allocated
...proval to expand it. If the last budget would have allocated more than enough to the advertising the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...easons of peoples absence in the show. Last but not least, we need to know the ...
^^
Line 4, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...how this extended budget would be used. If this budget will not be utilized in a p...
^^
Line 4, column 229, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ed. If this budget will not be utilized in a proper manner then extension may be proved futile. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r then extension may be proved futile. Before taking any decision on the advice...
^^^
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...rst should know the exact reason of the peoples disinterest. The increasing rate of the...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, so, then, while, first of all, i am afraid

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 30.0 12.4196629213 242% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2189.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 469.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66737739872 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36474300773 2.79657885939 85% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 215.323595506 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.398720682303 0.4932671777 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 695.7 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.227792817 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.56 118.986275619 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.76 23.4991977007 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.21951772744 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 7.80617977528 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.83258426966 248% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0434746858185 0.243740707755 18% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0161871811516 0.0831039109588 19% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0313179445732 0.0758088955206 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0249952083951 0.150359130593 17% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0187444409253 0.0667264976115 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.1392134831 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.8420337079 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.1639044944 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.22 8.38706741573 86% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.