The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
A strong society is where the society overall, is together, and all the voices are equally heard and respected. A democracy will achieve it's ultimate form if all the citizens get equal representation in the government. The prompt also fortifies the same idea by stating that the young people should be imbibed in a sense of cooperation rather than competetion for a strong government. I mostly support the statement put forward by the prompt for the below two reasons. However, I concede that excellence will be achieved if we have a healthy competition.
First of all, Democracies are a form of government where people vote for the government. This strongly requires a sense of co-operation between the citzens and government officials. For example, If we consider the current military regiments in few countries, the reason why the people in the country are at constant distress and turmoil is because of the constant power struggule two power hungry competing parties are having rather than looking for the welfare of the people. Also, we saw many revolutions like the french renaissance where people come together to in resistance to power concentration and resulted in power distribution. So, the values of co-operation that we install in the young people now, will result in a society that promotes harmony, and fraternity over fight, and war.
Secondly, Cooperation can enhance peoples abilities as it promotes knowledge transfer from one another and result in overall development of all. However, competition, in its crude sense, often instills a sense of hesitation to share our knowledge and wisdom which derails the other party even if he is willing to share. For instance, Ernst Rutherford, a student of Sir. JJ Thompson, experimented with the hypothesis that his teacher had presented and found a better model of atom that eliminated some of the previous flaws. Also, countries trade with each other to get the products (goods and services) from other countries into their market and vice verse, if they lack cooperation, the markets will be more concentrated with the local produce and lack variety. So, the ability to cooperate from young age instills the sense of sharing and growing together, and will reflect in the governance overall within the territory and territories around. Hence, the prompts assertion is persuasive.
However, Lack of competition doesn't provide motivation for people to get themselves better as they are at ease with the current abilities. Healthy competition motivates a person to constantly struggle and learn new abilities to get constantly better. Two political parties promoting well being of people is always better than just one party doing it. And, the competition between them will actually make them come up with better solutions for the people's good. For instance, Monopoly in the market has a significant risk of price rise, while a market with many players increases the quality and may restrict price hike. So, If the people needs competiton to get better and they don't have innate motivation to do better, competition is needed which makes the prompt strong assertion, falliable.
To Conclude, I believe that instilling a sense of motivation of getting better and cooperation may do better to the societies instead of a constant competitive nature. The scope to enhance themselves with others knowledge and a place where all voices are heard is a placid place to stay rather than a place where parties constantly fight with eachother for power. However, If the people are torpid, then competition may actually make them strive to achieve excellence.
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| 2024-10-31 | ekarumeblessing@icloud.com | 79 | view |
| 2024-08-31 | hainess25 | 70 | view |
| 2024-08-28 | Rishab@1999 | 50 | view |
| 2024-07-02 | MMoksha | 66 | view |
| 2024-06-30 | AkellaSrinivas | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 497, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... a better model of atom that eliminated some of the previous flaws. Also, countries trade w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 957, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'prompts'' or 'prompt's'?
Suggestion: prompts'; prompt's
...tory and territories around. Hence, the prompts assertion is persuasive. However, La...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 30, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...uasive. However, Lack of competition doesnt provide motivation for people to get th...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 679, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...needs competiton to get better and they dont have innate motivation to do better, co...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, while, for example, for instance, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 58.6224719101 126% => OK
Nominalization: 38.0 12.9106741573 294% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3033.0 2235.4752809 136% => OK
No of words: 584.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19349315068 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91590194646 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8244555478 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 215.323595506 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491438356164 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 953.1 704.065955056 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.8173540742 60.3974514979 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.653846154 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4615384615 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61538461538 5.21951772744 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213190841362 0.243740707755 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0616300830742 0.0831039109588 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040278026023 0.0758088955206 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125857284487 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00674139364583 0.0667264976115 10% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 100.480337079 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.