The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree wi

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

I, to some extent, disagree with the given statement. Instilling a sense of cooperation is definitely one of the ways to bring up and prepare a society's young people, but is it the best way? I have certain reservations and will enumerate my opinions on the same in the following paragraph.

To start with, both cooperation and competition are startlingly contrast approaches, but both are essential in the upbringing of youth in a society. As both these have to blend in properly and must be inculcated in an individual right from the start, it would be wrong of us to dismiss the importance of competition and claim cooperation as the 'best' way. Be it government, industry or any other field, there is heavy competition everywhere, in every aspect of life. The human nature is to compete - from the time when primitive human beings used to earn a meal by competing with the other majestic animals to present day humans earning a meal by competing with other established brands and making their own one a success. Let us illustrate this point with an example. We are familiar with both McDonalds and Burger King - two well established fast food chain MNCs. And both these places serve almost the same kind of food. Yet, it is the healthy competition between these two which keeps both of the businesses up and running. Any lack of intent to compete with each other by any one of them would have resulted in loss of brand name for either one of them. When the first brand pops up with a novel marketing strategy, it is equally rivaled by the other second brand. Any business would thrive majorly because of competition. This was just an example emphasizing the importance of competition in business sector. I would like to extend my same claim over the other fields too. For instance, - 'it is not necessary for governments to survive through competition' - this would be our first thought. Well, fair enough. But if competition was absolutely unnecessary, why is there still a tag of underdeveloped nations or third world countries? Why is there so much fuss about imports, exports and ultimately GDP? To vaguely answer these questions, it would be easy to maintain what I had proposed earlier - there is competition in every aspect of life.

Again, emphasizing too much on competition and leaving out the importance of cooperation is again faulty. It is vital to note that the competition which I mentioned earlier, is supposed to be healthy competition. I would like to quote the old maxim - " Too much of anything is good for nothing". Extreme competition has the potential to grow bad and this can even become worse in cases where it might result in complete destruction, of anything! This is exactly where the role of cooperation comes into play. From one's early days, he/she can be inculcated good habits and along with it, a sense of cooperation would do wonders for the child in his/her future. Integrity will be maintained and nothing can possibly go haywire, given one knows theirs limits and where to draw that fine line.

I would like to wrap up by saying that, it is not just to claim cooperation as the best way to prepare the youth for leadership roles, but a right amount of competition is also very essential in the upbringing of people, for it might even turn out to play a major role in that individual's life later on.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'contrasted'.
Suggestion: contrasted
...eration and competition are startlingly contrast approaches, but both are essential in t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 712, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'can'.
Suggestion: can
...ntegrity will be maintained and nothing can possibly go haywire, given one knows theirs limi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 278, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...n turn out to play a major role in that individuals life later on.
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, still, third, well, for instance, kind of, to start with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.5258426966 154% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 93.0 58.6224719101 159% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 12.9106741573 217% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2768.0 2235.4752809 124% => OK
No of words: 580.0 442.535393258 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7724137931 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90746259869 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77246778079 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 292.0 215.323595506 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503448275862 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 875.7 704.065955056 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.249398827 60.3974514979 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.518518519 118.986275619 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4814814815 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.33333333333 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218425243437 0.243740707755 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0559715611182 0.0831039109588 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580489088143 0.0758088955206 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149737877411 0.150359130593 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0325922536988 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 100.480337079 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.