The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
It is popularly believed that the luxuries and conveniences of modernity have a deteriorating effect on humans’ ability to be truly independent and strong. Although superficial gaze on our society may find many evidence of this belief, as far as I am concerned, some of these achievements of contemporary life in particular education have made possible for an individual to become truly footloose.
To begin with, it seems conspicuous that conveniences and luxuries of modernity have a negative effect on the humankind. Many of us, addicted from consumption of goods and luxuries. Perhaps majority of our contemporaries spend their free time watching TV shows, playing video-games and chatting in the Internet. In fact, an average person cannot imagine his/her life without these features. Perhaps these achievements of modernity create for adult a possibility to prolong their childhood. So, it seems that the luxuries and conveniences have debilitating effect on us.
Thus we may assert that absence of the achievements of modernity will have a positive impact on our development. Does this claim hold true? To answer on this question we may look at the middle ages when today's luxuries were imponderable. These medieval persons were not strong or independent; in fact, they were narrow-minded and were easily impacted by Catholic Church and the holy inquisition. They submitted power of the ruling class and the church, moreover, an average medieval individual was hardly capable of making his or her own decisions and thus he/she cannot be considered as independent person. Thus void of these luxuries does not incentivize developing of strong and independent individual as well.
So we may state that neither availability nor absence of modern conveniences and luxuries support development. At the same time, since the first technological revolution two hundred years ago our society has changed dramatically. This revolution gave us the first glance on modern luxuries such us ships, photos, trains, water pools and many other inventions which have become widespread today. Alongside with these luxuries our society has developed strikingly and during the XX century we reach equality, end of racism, the same gender marriage, separation of religion and state etc. What makes all of these possible? The answer is simple – education. One of the luxuries of modernity which we tend to take for granted. In fact three hundred years ago literacy and capability to count were privilege of rich and influential. But today we all have this opportunity. The education gives us possibility to absorb information and learn about the world for ourselves, we may create our own judgement about the world and thus we may become truly independent individuals.
In conclusion, we often tend to aver that luxuries of modernity do not allow us to become truly strong and independent individual; however, some of these luxuries in particular education gives us indispensable opportunity to develop ourselves into strong and footloose individual. Someone may say but what about millions of people who passively spend their lives watching TV and using the internet? The answer is that today’s luxuries give us opportunity which we can use or neglect. The choice is up to us.
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Thus we may assert that absence of the achievements of modernity will have a positive impact on our development.
Thus we may assert that the absence of the achievements of modernity will have a positive impact on our development.
flaws:
This is your main idea:
The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life neither prevent nor support the development of a true person. It is up to education.
You made the topic scope bigger: nor support . You only need to do:
whether the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent the development of a truly strong and independent individuals or not.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 520 350
No. of Characters: 2686 1500
No. of Different Words: 258 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.775 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.165 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.928 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 193 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.259 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.006 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.63 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5