Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society especially among children Others believe that children s peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children s beh

Environment and surrounding plays a very important role in child's behaviour. Children often tends to imitate the same behaviour as they in their surrounding. Speaker here presents the viewpoint of the two group of people, one believes that increasing violence among the children is the result of the increasing violence in the media, whereas other believes that it is the result of a child's surrounding such as parents and peers which seems reasonable.
Media platforms such as television and internet reflects what is happening in the society. Media sometimes changes the information according to his/her convinience in order to increase the TRP. In many news channels, people discussing on a topic, express their viewpoints with verbal fights. On social media platforms, there are increasing number of violence act prevailing. However, there are many TV channels which shows positive content such as new discoveries, tech, researches, and much more. Thus the control of choosing which content to watch is with the individual and his/her parents.
It is beleived that parents are the first teacher of a child and behaviour of a parent has a huge impact on child's behaviour. In the early age of child, he acquires some of the general habits of the parents and when a child goes to school or college his behaviour is influenced by his friends and his peers. Though an individual has major control over his behaviour, role of his surrounding matters a lot.
It is very evident from many examples that an individual performance depends highly on the groups. If a group he is surrounded with motivates each others, have some meaningful discussions and are intellectual, an individual will try to get these qualities withing himself/herself. On the contrary, if he is surrounded by the group of people who promotes violence in the society, then it is highly possible to have an impact on his nature.In sum, both factor are responsible for the behaviour of an individual however, the role of surrounding such as parents and peers depends a lot on how a child behaves. Media, if chosen correct, can have a positive impact also.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 498, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...eries, tech, researches, and much more. Thus the control of choosing which content t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 165, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... In the early age of child, he acquires some of the general habits of the parents and when ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 439, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...ossible to have an impact on his nature.In sum, both factor are responsible for th...
^^
Line 4, column 624, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to correct'
Suggestion: to correct
...n how a child behaves. Media, if chosen correct, can have a positive impact also.
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 660, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...sen correct, can have a positive impact also.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, then, thus, whereas, such as, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1773.0 2235.4752809 79% => OK
No of words: 351.0 442.535393258 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05128205128 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90475087005 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 215.323595506 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507122507123 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 704.065955056 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.7946146123 60.3974514979 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.8125 118.986275619 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9375 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6875 5.21951772744 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234703632758 0.243740707755 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0697887643485 0.0831039109588 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.092409761269 0.0758088955206 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149221826386 0.150359130593 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116796783107 0.0667264976115 175% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.1392134831 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.