The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
In history, there have been many resistances for authorities. when it happened, the well-being of a society was enhanced? I mostly disagree with the statement that with the circumstance, the society would be healthier.
when many of people of a society question authority, it means that some adverse events must exist, such as a corruption, a discriminative policy, and a crime. If people rebuke for these events, they can be rectified and they would help the society progress. take Geun-hye park for example. At first, Geun-hye park, the former president of South korea, was acclaimed for the first female president in korea and people expected her to be helpful for the nation because she was the daughter of the former president Jung-hee park. however, she had not beneficial ability for manage the nation, even beside her, the secret person with the crown, Sun-sil Choi, controlled the president. she obtained a plethora of benefits by the power and was intractable. Thus, in 2017, when people knew the corruption and the inability of the president, they resisted for the authority and made the president resign. This was the citizens’ victory.
After the chaos, new president Moon was elected and the nation seemed stable. however, well-being of korea has not enhanced. Although many policies were implemented, with circumstances of the world and people’s diverse opinions, the policies didn’t seem effective. therefore, questioning authority by many people does not indicate the enhancement of the society. As we can see the aforementioned example, shifting the power to another does not yield better people’s life. it is just that other greedy politicians take the power. they are more interested their power than the public. therefore, the resistance doesn’t result in the beneficial result for the citizen’s life.
In brief, when the public dispute authority, the well-being of a society may not be enhanced. To make the advancement, a person who sit down on the throne must have ability for managing the nation and collaborate with the public.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
In history, there have been many resista...
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Suggestion: When
... been many resistances for authorities. when it happened, the well-being of a societ...
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...e, the society would be healthier. when many of people of a society questio...
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...iety would be healthier. when many of people of a society question au...
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...d they would help the society progress. take Geun-hye park for example. At first, Ge...
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... of the former president Jung-hee park. however, she had not beneficial ability for man...
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Suggestion: She
...Sun-sil Choi, controlled the president. she obtained a plethora of benefits by the ...
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Suggestion: However
...s elected and the nation seemed stable. however, well-being of korea has not enhanced. ...
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Suggestion: Therefore
...he policies didn't seem effective. therefore, questioning authority by many people d...
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...es not yield better people's life. it is just that other greedy politicians t...
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...ther greedy politicians take the power. they are more interested their power than th...
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Suggestion: Therefore
...interested their power than the public. therefore, the resistance doesn't result in ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, in brief, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 58.6224719101 53% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1768.0 2235.4752809 79% => OK
No of words: 331.0 442.535393258 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3413897281 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26537283232 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9710253039 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543806646526 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.3297020175 60.3974514979 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.1904761905 118.986275619 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7619047619 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.90476190476 5.21951772744 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318011998481 0.243740707755 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100275902525 0.0831039109588 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.130506901955 0.0758088955206 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215273204435 0.150359130593 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.05861036862 0.0667264976115 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.1392134831 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.8420337079 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.1639044944 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.