When Stanley Park first opened, it was the largest, most heavily used public park in town.
It is still the largest park, but it is no longer heavily used. Video cameras mounted in the park's parking lots last month revealed the park's drop in popularity: the recordings showed an average of only 50 cars per day. In contrast, tiny Carlton Park in the heart of the business district is visited by more than 150 people on a typical weekday. An obvious difference is that Carlton Park, unlike Stanley Park, provides ample seating. Thus, if Stanley Park is ever to be as popular with our citizens as Carlton Park, the town will obviously need to provide more benches, thereby converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable for socializing.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
Two parks are compared with each other. It is said that Stanley park is not as popular as it was in the past, and Carleton is the park where people are more willing to go. Some reasons have been mentioned for the popularity of Carlton park and also the writer offers that Stanley park needs to follow the positive points of Carlton park to obtain its fame. However, I believe that there are many vague points in the argument. Many questions should be answered for the reinforcement of arguments and assumptions.
It is said that “When Stanley Park first opened, it was the largest, most heavily used public park in town. It is still the largest park, but it is no longer heavily used.” There is one source in the text which is considered for proving this argument. The only source is video cameras installed in the park. According to them, only 50 cars are parked near the park in a day. There are several questions that should be answered. Firstly, whether or not the number of cars is a good criterion for assessment of the popularity of the park. Secondly, do all people visiting the park have a car or are all individuals going to the park eligible to have a car? So, the number of cars shown in the camera is not a suitable option for this check. The most important question is when the park has lost its popularity. Whether the installation of cameras in the park can have any role in this subject, as many people do not like to be watched by cameras and they believe that video surveillance is an invasion of privacy. So, it is possible that one of the reasons that people prefer to choose another park is the existence of video cameras. Also, do cameras cover all surrounding areas near the park? It is possible that people find some places which are not watched by cameras. The statistical figure mentioned in the text is not valid. We cannot exactly understand whether or not Stanley park really has lost its popularity. Also, the observer of the cameras may watch some of the special parts of recorded videos during the times the park was empty. In such times may other parks may also not be crowded.
Carlton park is in the heart of the business district and it is said that it is visited by more than 150 people during a week. The factors used for the comparison of the parks are wrong. For the first park, the number of cars has been considered while for the second one the number of people. Also, the areas of the parks are not comparable. It is clear that the business district is always busy and more people may go there for the purpose of relaxation or entertainment. Also for Stanley park, the statistical figure shown is for one day but the second one is for one week. The writer in the text only wants to show that the popularity of Carlton park is high, and it seems he wants to highlight this subject intentionally The argument of the writer had been more valid if he would have compared the two parks according to the same period and the same factors and conditions. Also, the only difference mentioned between the parks is the number of seats. This type of comparison is not fair, the writer has to consider the positive point and negative points of the parks and then decide which park is better.
Also, how the writer can ensure that the increasing number of benches can increase the popularity of Stanley park? Is this solution really can improve the situation of Stanley park? For converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable for socializing in Stanley park, there is no financial source mentioned. Park itself is a place for socializing, so it would be better if people are asked about the facilities that they want to have in the park.
In conclusion, the assumptions and arguments mentioned in the questions are not cogent and for improvement of them, the points and the questions mentioned in the writing should be checked.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 438, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...tions that should be answered. Firstly, whether or not the number of cars is a good criterion ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1359, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...not valid. We cannot exactly understand whether or not Stanley park really has lost its popula...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1463, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
..., the observer of the cameras may watch some of the special parts of recorded videos during...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 473, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...purpose of relaxation or entertainment. Also for Stanley park, the statistical figur...
^^^^
Line 5, column 778, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had compared'?
Suggestion: had compared
...of the writer had been more valid if he would have compared the two parks according to the same per...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 198, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...tuation of Stanley park? For converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 54.0 19.5258426966 277% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 58.6224719101 126% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3195.0 2235.4752809 143% => OK
No of words: 697.0 442.535393258 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58393113343 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.13816675137 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4482877512 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.364418938307 0.4932671777 74% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1000.8 704.065955056 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 14.0 4.99550561798 280% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.2370786517 178% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.6900147497 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.75 118.986275619 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3611111111 23.4991977007 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.19444444444 5.21951772744 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.83258426966 290% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.49536904214 0.243740707755 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.160859414419 0.0831039109588 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123556457331 0.0758088955206 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.28468634454 0.150359130593 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.163285722403 0.0667264976115 245% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 14.1392134831 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.8420337079 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.1743820225 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 12.1639044944 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.38706741573 85% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 438, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...tions that should be answered. Firstly, whether or not the number of cars is a good criterion ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1359, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...not valid. We cannot exactly understand whether or not Stanley park really has lost its popula...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1463, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
..., the observer of the cameras may watch some of the special parts of recorded videos during...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 473, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...purpose of relaxation or entertainment. Also for Stanley park, the statistical figur...
^^^^
Line 5, column 778, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had compared'?
Suggestion: had compared
...of the writer had been more valid if he would have compared the two parks according to the same per...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 198, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...tuation of Stanley park? For converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 54.0 19.5258426966 277% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 58.6224719101 126% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3195.0 2235.4752809 143% => OK
No of words: 697.0 442.535393258 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58393113343 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.13816675137 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4482877512 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.364418938307 0.4932671777 74% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1000.8 704.065955056 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 14.0 4.99550561798 280% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.2370786517 178% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.6900147497 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.75 118.986275619 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3611111111 23.4991977007 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.19444444444 5.21951772744 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.83258426966 290% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.49536904214 0.243740707755 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.160859414419 0.0831039109588 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123556457331 0.0758088955206 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.28468634454 0.150359130593 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.163285722403 0.0667264976115 245% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 14.1392134831 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.8420337079 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.1743820225 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 12.1639044944 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.38706741573 85% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.