The charts below show the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
These charts give the details about the reason for going to school among pupils of various age groups and the amount of support that they got from workers.
In general, different age of learners have distinctive reasons for study. Also, the younger employers and the older employers have bigger support for pupils than workers at the medium age.
The first chart shows that the students’ goal for career is decrease dramatically during the growing of their age. However, their goal for interest is increase step by step during the same age. But, at the same age between 40 and 49, they have sam...
- In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. 67
- The graph below show the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant 76
- Telecommuting refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology Telecommuting is growing n many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in coming decades 55
- The diagrams below show two methods of using water to produce electricity Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant 83
- In many parts of the world families were larger in the past because people had more children Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past 66
Sentence: The first chart shows that the students' goal for career is decrease dramatically during the growing of their age.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and decrease
It shows the growing of the workers' age make their support increase as well.
Description: two verbs in one sentence.
flaws:
is the essay related to 'pupils'?
and you don't need to put two paragraphs for conclusion:
In general, different age of learners have distinctive reasons for study. Also, the younger employers and the older employers have bigger support for pupils than workers at the medium age.
In short, different ages of pupils influence their goal for study as well. Also, different age of workers have distinctive support for learners.
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 10
No. of Words: 207 200
No. of Characters: 971 1000
No. of Different Words: 98 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.793 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.691 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.209 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 67 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.47 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4