The charts below show the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
These charts give the details about the reason for going to school among pupils of various age groups and the amount of support that they got from workers.
In general, different age of learners have distinctive reasons for study. Also, the younger employers and the older employers have bigger support for pupils than workers at the medium age.
The first chart shows that the students’ goal for career is decrease dramatically during the growing of their age. However, their goal for interest is increase step by step during the same age. But, at the same age between 40 and 49, they have sam...
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Sentence: The first chart shows that the students' goal for career is decrease dramatically during the growing of their age.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and decrease
It shows the growing of the workers' age make their support increase as well.
Description: two verbs in one sentence.
flaws:
is the essay related to 'pupils'?
and you don't need to put two paragraphs for conclusion:
In general, different age of learners have distinctive reasons for study. Also, the younger employers and the older employers have bigger support for pupils than workers at the medium age.
In short, different ages of pupils influence their goal for study as well. Also, different age of workers have distinctive support for learners.
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 10
No. of Words: 207 200
No. of Characters: 971 1000
No. of Different Words: 98 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.793 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.691 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.209 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 67 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.47 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4