differences among professionals sports and other professionals people.

Essay topics:

differences among professionals sports and other professionals people.

It is very controversial issue whether successful sports professionals should earn more money than people in other important professions or not. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against this issue.

On the one hand, it can not be overlooked that the successful sports are the symbols of country in the big competitions like Olympic. When they get prizes, other countries gain information about that country which would never happen if the could not get medals. Furthermore, they can display their flags andtheir cultures to all over the world. In other words, the successful sports professionals are their country’s reputation.therefore, their government provide them with the golden opportunity to prepare themselves for the big competitions. More over, the government gives them more money to keep them satisfy and try to do their best in these kinds of international competitions.

However, there are small group of the sports professionals who abuse from their abilities and deceive people by their bad performance. For example, in our country, there are some people who play football and earn a lot of money without any good results.

On the other hand, it can not be ignored that successful people in other important professionals play vital role in the society. They should be paid more attention by the government through high salary because these people have significant impact on the society in the long term by their valuable work. Unfortunately, the government does not tend to take their efforts into consideration since it does not have enough information as regards their work. For instance, in our country, there are many professional surgeries and engineers that earn 10times less than professional sports.

In conclusion, I think that the government should prioritize giving money to different kinds of professional people and try to satisfy both groups of professionals sports and others. In some cases the government can help them by providing good facilities and in other cases can make a contribution by giving money. If the government has a good strategy, professionals people will be satisfied easily.

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Sentence: When they get prizes, other countries gain information about that country which would never happen if the could not get medals.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and could

Sentence: Furthermore, they can display their flags andtheir cultures to all over the world.
Error: andtheir Suggestion: and their

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 4.636 7.5

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'. So you have two 'However' in the essay.

You may remove the third paragraph, since it breaks up the structure.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1782 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.195 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.987 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.636 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Hai...

Still the question confused me...
Hope you post it b4 reading my comment.

Hope you are not annoyed with my greeting 'dear'

Bye..
Tessy..