Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In this modern area, event organizers provide many events such as concert and sport event, and several people, especially teenagers, like to watch events directly on the spot. Others think that watch event from television more comfort. I believe both of them have good reasons.
People, who attend live performance, get many advantages. They would feel the euphoria for the show because there are a lot of spectators in event’s area. Viewers there definite scream out to sing a song from their favourite team or person, and that occurence would reduce people’s stressing. Then, as supporters, they are able to closer with their favourite stars, and if they are lucky, they could take pictures together with their idol. That is certainly more satisfied. Moreover, for youngsters that still have unstable personality, they could fight with another endorser if tehy feel not happy with the event, and they would destroy public facilities.
On the other hand, several event lovers choose to watch concert or sport event from televison because they think that more enjoyable. They are still possible to see the show clearly and sit with eat snack in their favourite chair, so they are no need to go to stadion and crowd with others seconder. Furthermore, beholders obtain to look the event with free, and they may save their money for another important necessary. For example, schoolgirl face two choise between buy a bicycle and buy a concert ticket, but she just have money for buying one of them. So, she still gets both of them with watch concert in television, and she have bicycle. On the contrary, they do not get the real atmosphere for that event.
To sum up, watching live performance or watching by television is depend on people’s personality. They certainly choose the best for themselves, basicly on their characteristic and their favourite things.
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| 2018-09-05 | mariem | 70 | view |
| 2018-10-15 | Singh-saab | 56 | view |
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Others think that watch event from television more comfort.
Suggestion: Others think that watching event from television is more comfortable.
Viewers there definite scream out to sing a song from their favourite team or person
Suggestion: Viewers there definitly scream out to sing a song from their favourite team or person
Sentence: For example, schoolgirl face two choise between buy a bicycle and buy a concert ticket, but she just have money for buying one of them.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to between and buy
Sentence: To sum up, watching live performance or watching by television is depend on people's personality.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and depend
Sentence: On the other hand, several event lovers choose to watch concert or sport event from televison because they think that more enjoyable.
Error: televison Suggestion: television
Sentence: They are still possible to see the show clearly and sit with eat snack in their favourite chair, so they are no need to go to stadion and crowd with others seconder.
Error: stadion Suggestion: stadium
Sentence: They certainly choose the best for themselves, basicly on their characteristic and their favourite things.
Error: basicly Suggestion: basically
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 308 350
No. of Characters: 1505 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.189 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.886 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.406 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.76 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5