Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
As we know, bringing children up is a very difficult process and demands great responsibility. The commitments of parents have been a subject of discussion for many years and we can stress that nowadays it is still remaining as important one.
There are different thoughts about the roles of parents, for example some groups of people claim that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies, and also for bringing children up. But others insist that, it is not honest if father does not care about his children, so both of them must have the same responsibility and care. I strongly support the second opinion, to be more precise I think both parents' duties must be equal and according to this consideration, I want to explain my point with the help of some facts.
Firstly, from the psychological point of view the participation of mother and father is very necessary on the forming of child's psychology. Because, children learn not only from their mothers, but also from their fathers. For instance, they can learn from fathers some of male abilities, or some personal characters. On the other hand, it can be noted that, in modern society women's role is widening day by day, so it becomes very difficult for them to spend all their time on children.
Finally, I want to sum up my notions and note that all the responsibilities of bringing children up must be shared between parents, because they cannot cope with it separately.
- The graph below shows the average calorie intake per person in eight countries in 2003 68
- The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. 90
- The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. 75
- The graph below compares figures for the production and consumption of energy in the US from 1950 to 2000. It also predicts figures for 2025. 54
- News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it better if more good news was reported? 64
Sentence: As we know, bringing children up is a very difficult process and demands great reponsibility.
Error: reponsibility Suggestion: responsibility
Sentence: But others insist that, it is not honest if father does not care about his children, so both of them must have the same responsibiliy and care.
Error: responsibiliy Suggestion: responsibility
Sentence: Firstly, from the physcological point of view the participation of mother and father is very necessary on the forming of child's physcology.
Error: physcology Suggestion: physiology
Error: physcological Suggestion: physiological
Sentence: On the other hand, it can be noted that, in modern society women's role is widening day by day, so it becomes very dificcult for them to spend all their time on children.
Error: dificcult Suggestion: difficult
Sentence: Finally, I want to sum up my notions and note that all the responsibilities of bringing children up must be shared between parents, because they cannot cope with it separetly.
Error: separetly Suggestion: ?
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
better to have 5 paragraphs, and one paragraph for introduction:
para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1176 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.685 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 79 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.043 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.775 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5