In many countries television shows many foreign made programs The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In many countries television shows many foreign-made programs. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In this present day, television shows certain programs from overseas. Myriad people believe that it is good transition to obtain more knowledge of another country whilst others think that it might be damaged for cultures of this state.

The majority of television channels illustrate about condition of other countries. There are certain films from abroad such as United States and South Korea. Through these films, citizens could absorb condition of these countries even though they never prove it with their eyes. They could obtain information about the shape of white house, presidential house of United States, and know condition of Gangnam road, a famous street of Seoul, South Korea. As a result, they begin unsatisfied with the condition of their own countries. They would compare the facilities that are owned by their states, and resources that they watch through television. Moreover, they desire to visit other countries are bigger than to travel around their own state.

Another television program is cartoon, such as “Sponge Bob” and “Upin and Ipin”, that appear every morning and afternoon to amuse children. These are good programs because in several scenes, they demonstrate about knowledge and manner in the simple way. “Sponge Bob” could introduce children about kinds of species in undersea water while “Upin and Ipin” shows about the impact when children did not quote the truth. Nevertheless, cartoons are foreign-made programs that only describe the circumstances of other countries. There are certain situations in every country, yet children program that match with Indonesian are merely the local programs that are produce by Indonesian such as “Susan” and “SiKomo”.

In fact, the artists of foreign-made movies wear amusing clothes that might change perception of local citizens about fashion. After watching those films, they might not be attired in their traditional costumes instead they adopt modern dress that they notice in television. Generally, it is good to have various clothes but they would forget about their classical clothes.

Conclusively, foreign-made programs could increase people awareness. However, they should not follow all of things that they obtain from it and should maintain their cultures.

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Sentence: Another television program is cartoon, such as Sponge Bob and Upin and Ipin, that appear every morning and afternoon to amuse children.
Description: The fragment that appear every is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appear with appear in

Sentence: Myriad people believe that it is good transition to obtain more knowledge of another country whilst others think that it might be damaged for cultures of this state.
Error: whilst Suggestion: while

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.851 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07

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Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1998 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.371 4.6
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Sentence Length SD: 5.851 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5