The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is true that gender roles broadly change in recent years. While I accept that juvenile delinquency might be caused by this changing, I believe that equality between women and men can make their family happier.
Nowadays, juvenile delinquency arises because of many reasons if related to family which both parents work full time. Firstly, children and parents do not have much time to spend their time together so that they seem to be less close. Secondly, children usually are kept by nannies who might be less educated than their parents. No one can guarantee their attitude, education, health as well. Thirdly, older children will spend their time more often with their friends and internet which increase the risk of children to be trapped in juvenile delinquency. These are not children’s mistake, yet parents’ responsibility to care of their children.
On the other hand, gender harmony in family is very important.Even though mother and father have high desire to work hard, they have to balance between career and family especially if they have children. There are many responsibilities for mother and father. In family, they should divide their roles fairly. Both mother and father should do parenting to their children as well as doing domestic responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, and watering together so that there are no double-burden for mother or father. When father and mother share their work, they can give more affection to their children and prevent juvenile delinquency.
In conclusion, juvenile delinquency is probably the effect of both mother and father are workaholic. But, if the parents can harmonize their roles and time well, their family will be ideal example for others because of their happiness.
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 145 200
The essay topic didn't ask you give a solution for juvenile delinquency where you did in the third paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1422 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.525 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.234 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5