Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after citizens themselves?
In recent 20 years, many countries have been transformed into developed countries, such as China, Japan and Singapore. But other countries also have not been transformed at all and still be poorer countries. We are not live alone in this earth and need a hand from others. So, I argue that wealth nations have to share their hands to poorer countries. It is not only about socialized but also many wealth countries take advantage from poorer countries and poorer countries also cannot stand by themselves but need something that can boost them up.
Firstly, in this era, Natural resource is one of the most important thing that needed by many countries. Especially for industrial countries, they need as much as natural resource for their country and business, for Instance, oil and coal. In fact, lots of natural resources can be found in poorer countries. For example in my country, Indonesia, has abundant of natural resources, such as oil, coal, gold, palm, forest, beach and lake. Many industrial countries have opened their branches cooperation in my countries. A lot of natural resources that they have taken from my country. We have already given to them our heritage of natural resources, and even they have paid for it, as material payment to our government but it is not balance enough with all what we have given to them. Industrial countries should help us to improve our intelligence because money can be lost but intelligence can be contributed to our nation deeply.
Secondly, no countries can survive without any hands from other countries. Nevertheless, even they can stand by themselves but in some conditions they still need some assistances form others. In my country, for instance, still needs much improvement in some areas, such as education and health. My country gas lots of people who have good intelligence but they still need to be pointed into good quality of education. Indonesia has still weakness in education area compared to other countries in Asia. So, the countries that have similar problem with Indonesia, suppose be needed as same resolution as Indonesia.
In conclusion, poorer countries are required much helps from wealth countries. They cannot look after their citizens in all areas by themselves. They need improvement in some areas which can help that country to be more developed. Helping each others are needed to get more benefits. The benefits are not also accepted by poorer nations but also wealth nations, and world peace will be created.
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2013-12-24 | farideh | 68 | view |
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Comments
Thanks for your
Thanks for your suggestion..
It helps me so much...
Sentence: Helping each others are needed to get more benefits.
Suggestion: Helping each others is needed to get more benefits.
Sentence: The benefits are not also accepted by poorer nations but also wealth nations, and world peace will be created.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
flaws:
Sentences need to be polished.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 2024 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.913 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.562 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.662 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.792 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5