Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Public health is an essential issue from the governmental point of view. Accordingly, governments are putting extreme efforts on providing public sport services in various forms. Some people claim that this approach is significantly beneficial. Others, however, believe that the effectiveness of this attempt is negligible. In my opinion sport facilities can be efficient if other supplemental issues contribute in the related trend.
On the one hand, erecting state sport equipment is an inevitable part of governmental services. To attract citizens, government tends to provide these facilities in terms of well-equipped infrastructures such as stadiums for playing football, volleyball, basketball and so on. Moreover, some of services are free of charge to catch more attractions such as daily exercise equipment in parks, appropriate paths for jogging or running and the like. With all these given services, people will be encouraged to enroll sport activities and practice daily exercises. Consequently, they will stay healthy physically and mentally.
On the other hand, others believe that despite all these efforts, some people still do no utilize these opportunities since they do not care much about exercise or are not aware of the great impacts of exercising. Regarding this notion, there are numerous sport equipment which are established in every region all over my city. Nevertheless, a high rate of residents in my city are still suffering from obesity, cardiovascular failure, depression and other diseases related to the lack of physical activity and exercise.
However, from my perspective, there should be some extra approaches along with these facilities so that the impacts on individual’s attitude would be immense. Firstly, several instructive programmes should be broadcast from the mass media in support of positive influences of taking exercise and doing sport as a usual habitat on the physical and mental health. By presenting scientific evidences, people will be convinced that all these services are remarkably effective for their health condition. Secondly, probably some advertisements throughout the city representing great consequences of participating in sport activities can be impressive.
Taking all above into account, increasing sport facilities are an effective trend in making a healthier society. However, it is not as effective as when being pervaded by means of street advertisements and scientific programmes.
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On the other hand, others believe that despite all these efforts, some people still do no utilize these opportunities...
Suggestions: 'others believe that despite all these efforts,' is extra.
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.033 0.07
Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless' in the essays.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.552 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.074 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.686 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.033 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5