Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
It goes without saying that improving public health should be valued over other things. Although rising the number of sports facilities would be a good idea in order to improve public health, om my reckoning, other solutions should be considered too.
In the new millennium, you can see different sport clubs around the world. As a matter of fact, new modern sports facilities encourage people to use them; as a result, they may reduce the chance of facing different illnesses. For example, by growing the number of sports facilities in places such as parks people exercise and they probably are less in danger of illnesses such as heart attack, cancer, etc. In addition, it helps them to be less lazy and change their life style when there are sports facilities here and there so it improves their health.
Furthermore, some other ways would be really helpful for people to improve their health. First of all, they can follow food pyramids that scientists prepare them. Secondly, the second way refers to the governments. In my opinion, governments should encourage people to be more active especially in their spare time. As an illustration, if I were governments, I would encourage people to exercise regularly with their children when they come back to home that brings benefits to both children and parents. Finally, the best way is omitting fast food from daily meals because it is really harmful for every one's health.
In conclusion, improving public health should be taken into account by different solutions such as increasing the number of sports facilities, using food pyramid, to name but a few.
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Comments
Sentence: Although rising the
Sentence: Although rising the number of sports facilities would be a good idea in order to improve public health, om my reckoning, other solutions should be considered too.
Error: om Suggestion: on
flaws:
No. of Words: 268 350
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Sentence Length SD: 12.944 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 268 350
No. of Characters: 1307 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.046 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.471 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.944 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
I would be thankful in advance for your correction,
Best