The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. (re-write)

Essay topics:

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. (re-write)

According to the chart, this illustrates the leisure time off in a typical week concerned on the sex and employment status 1998-99.

First of all, men took the highest rates of hours of leisure time in 1998-99. The percentage of this year was nearly eighty-five. This was done by groups of people including unemployed and retired. In contrast, the lowest percentage was slightly up to forty and was done by female.

Moreover, female of the years was categorized as taking part-time of all status. These were employed full-time and part-time job, unemployed, retired, and housewives. Then, hours of leisure time becoming employed full-part-time were 38 up to 40 hours. And, to be unemployed and retired was that was 79 hours of leisure time. Finally, the only 51 hours female were becoming housewives.

Furthermore, male had three domains of leisure time like employed full-time unemployed, and retired. Indeed, hours of leisure time of unemployed and retired were same that 82, and the only 42 hours of leisure time becoming employed.

To sum up, hours of leisure time were dominated by female in all employed status. Then, male had leisure time in certain area including employed full-time unemployed, and retired.

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Comments

Sentence: According to the chart, this illustrates the leisure time of in a typical week concerned on the sex and employment status 1998-99.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to of and in

Sentence: Then, hours of leisure time becoming employed full-part-time was 38 up to 40 hours.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Refer to full-part-time and was

Sentence: First of all, men toke the highest rates of hours of leisure time in 1998-99.
Error: toke Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.033 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 198 200
No. of Characters: 980 1000
No. of Different Words: 87 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.751 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.685 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 73 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.033 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.469 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4