The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagram graphically illustrates the process of producing cement and also the instruction of making concrete is revealed by using a visual aid.

Looking at the process of producing cement, it can be clearly seen that at first, limestone and clay are crushed by taking advantage of the crusher and turned into some powder. Next, the powder is passed through a mixer to be mixed well. Thereafter, the powder is transferred to a rotating heater in which the powder is rotated and warmed up by using heat (which is generated at the bottom of the heater). Afterwards, the baked powder is gone to a grinder and is ground, and eventually cement is produced and is packed into special bags.

Turning to the procedure of making concrete, it is evidently showed that an axial mixer is used to combine the ingredients which are as follows: water (10%), cement (15%), sand (25%), grand (50%), and sand (25%). By contrast, gravel constitutes the biggest proportion of concrete. It should be noted that all substances should be introduced into the mixer simultaneously.

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The diagram graphically illustrates the process of producing cement and also the instruction of making concrete is revealed by using a visual aid.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

by taking advantage of the crusher
by taking the advantage of a crusher

the baked powder is gone to a grinder
the baked powder is going to a grinder

flaws:
Try to make the process simple, like this:
In the beginning, limestone and clay are introduced to a crusher that produces a powder. This powder is passed through the mixer before it is processed through rotating heater, which requires heat to work. Going further,the mixture goes into the grinder as to make cement. At the end, the cement is packed in the bags.

You forget one thing about the concrete mixer:
'It rotates clockwise so as to make concrete of the above mention ingredients.'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 178 200
No. of Characters: 841 1000
No. of Different Words: 101 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.653 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.725 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.704 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 67 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 27 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.189 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4