The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to s3x and age.
The three bar charts illustrate How many British individuals buy pop,rock and classical musics.
It is clear that, in each of the given groups, the share of 25-34 year olds Who like pop and rock musics is on the bottom of the list,whereas the greatest proportion of older people purchase classical music.
According to the bar chart, nearly a third of those Who are in the 16-24 and 25-34 age categories prefer pop music. The figures for men and 35-44 year olds are not quite as high as that of 16-24 year olds,each at just over a quarter. The percentage of females is twice as high as the one for those aged 45+.
When it comes to the rock music,similarly, the share of those aged between 16 and 35 headed fhe list,each at around 30%. Thefigure for males and those aged 35-44 are the second highest, each at around 25%. The one for women is considerably higher than the one for senior people,at just under one fifth and nearly 10% in turn. Turning to the classical music,by contrast, the percentage of 45+ year olds is on the top of the list, at exactly 20%, with the figure for those aged between 16 and 24 being gradually lower,at a small minoruty. Ranked second place is men and women,each at approximately ten %,followed by 35-44 year olds,at an insignificant number,while the figure for 16-24 olds is the least highest, at 2%,the lowest.
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Who like pop and rock musics is on the bottom of the list
Who like pop and rock musics is on the top of the list
Sentence: Ranked second place is men and women,each at approximately ten ,followed by 35-44 year olds,at an insignificant number,while the figure for 16-24 olds is the least highest, at 2,the lowest.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and men
Sentence: When it comes to the rock music,similarly, the share of those aged between 16 and 35 headed fhe list,each at around 30.
Error: fhe Suggestion: the
Sentence: Turning to the classical music,by contrast, the percentage of 45 year olds is on the top of the list, at exactly 20, with the figure for those aged between 16 and 24 being gradually lower,at a small minoruty.
Error: minoruty Suggestion: minority
flaws:
No. of Words: 252 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 252 200
No. of Characters: 1061 1000
No. of Different Words: 122 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.21 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.215 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 54 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 32 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.031 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.413 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4