The pie chart below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Given is the two pie charts that illustrate the online shopping which tralev, film/music, books and clothes were sold in New Zealand between two years 2003 and 2013. The general view is that books sector had slightly change that other sectors both of period.

To specify, What stands out from the pie charts, in 2003, the biggest amount sales was occupied travel with 36%, followed by clothes and film/music 24% and 21% respectively. The opposite was revealed in books sector, with the lowest percentage was only 19%.

When it comes to make a comparison, in 2013, film/music rose slightly to one quater, this meant it had the highest sales of four sectors in that year, while travel was a gradual drop to 6%. To be more precise, clothes went down approximately to one tenth.

To sum up, online shopping sales in New Zealand was more popular than a decade ago, but only clothes sector had become less account.

Votes
Average: 5.9 (8 votes)

books sector had slightly change that other sectors both of period.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

the biggest amount sales was occupied travel with 36%
the biggest amount of sales was occupied by travel sector with 36%

The opposite was revealed in books sector, with the lowest percentage was only 19%.
The opposite was revealed in books sector, with the lowest percentage which was only 19%.

online shopping sales in New Zealand was more popular than a decade ago
online shopping sales in New Zealand was more popular than that in a decade ago

Sentence: Given is the two pie charts that illustrate the online shopping which tralev, film/music, books and clothes were sold in New Zealand between two years 2003 and 2013.
Error: tralev Suggestion: trade

Sentence: When it comes to make a comparison, in 2013, film/music rose slightly to one quater, this meant it had the highest sales of four sectors in that year, while travel was a gradual drop to 6.
Error: quater Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 161 200
No. of Characters: 719 1000
No. of Different Words: 99 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.562 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.466 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.173 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 48 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 30 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 13 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 5 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.912 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.286 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.435 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.74 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4