The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The three pie charts describe proportion of money, which were expenditured on the five different necessities in some private UK school during the twenty years, from 1981 to 2001.
It is clear that, overall, the greatest part of all spendings belonged to the teachers' salaries. It should also be noted that, the expenditure on insurance were lowest during the given two decades.
According to the pie charts, on 1981 40% of the total consumption were spent on teachers' salaries, while spending on the same expenditure in 1991 were higher at 50%.
When it comes to the expenditures on insurance and resources, over the next decade the patterns of each consumption were the same, but relevant figures were a couple percentage points higher, from 2% in 1981 to 3% in 1991, and 15% to 20 for resources. The other three annual spendings declined, from 28% to 22% for other workers' salaries, from 15% to 5% for furniture and equipment.
Between 1991 and 2001, about a half (45%) of the total school spending were still teachers' salaries. Another 8% made up by insurance pays, this is closely followed by spending on resources 9%.
The fugure for furniture increased significantly from 5% to 23% between 1991 and 2001 respectively, while expenditure on other workers' salaries dropped markedly from 22% in 1991 to 15% in 2001.
All in all, despite fluctuating of figure for teachers' salaries, there were stayed fairly constant during the whole given period, while spending on insurance were minimal.
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in some private UK school
in some private UK schools
Sentence: According to the pie charts, on 1981 40 of the total consumption were spent on teachers' salaries, while spending on the same expenditure in 1991 were higher at 50.
Description: The fragment the total consumption is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: When it comes to the expenditures on insurance and resources, over the next decade the patterns of each consumption were the same, but relevant figures were a couple percentage points higher, from 2 in 1981 to 3 in 1991, and 15 to 20 for resources.
Description: The fragment a couple percentage is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: Between 1991 and 2001, about a half 45 of the total school spending were still teachers' salaries.
Description: The fragment total school spending is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: The three pie charts describe proportion of money, which were expenditured on the five different necessities in some private UK school during the twenty years, from 1981 to 2001.
Error: expenditured Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The fugure for furniture increased significantly from 5 to 23 between 1991 and 2001 respectively, while expenditure on other workers' salaries dropped markedly from 22 in 1991 to 15 in 2001.
Error: fugure Suggestion: future
flaws:
This paragraph is not developed well:
When it comes to the expenditures on insurance and resources, over the next decade the patterns of each consumption were the same, but relevant figures were a couple percentage points higher, from 2% in 1981 to 3% in 1991, and 15% to 20 for resources. The other three annual spendings declined, from 28% to 22% for other workers' salaries, from 15% to 5% for furniture and equipment.
No. of Words: 248 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Number of Paragraphs: 7 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 248 200
No. of Characters: 1190 1000
No. of Different Words: 128 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.968 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.709 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.761 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.829 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 4