The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010.Summarize the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay topics:

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010.

Summarize the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart bellow illustrates the percentage of men who participated in senior development position in three different companies from 1980 to 2010.
Overall, the percentage of participation in Apple was more than other companies at 15% in 1980, 1985, and 1990. During this period IBM had the lowest contribution in 1980 and 1985 at 2%, however in 1990 this trend changed, as this company had a significant growth by 10% and took a lead from Microsoft. The percentage of men in Microsoft had a two-fold increase from 6% in 1980 to 12% in 1990.
Surprisingly, IBM kept its incredible progress in the participation during next 15 years. This giant company experienced a growth by 40% between 1995 and 2010. Moreover, Microsoft did not show a tangible progress in 1995 and 2000. Even though, this company decided to change marginally this trend as the chart shows that it had a significant growth by 30%. Finally, Apple was not able to makes remarkable progress and this company had a drop by 3%. Furthermore, Following years did not bring a notable growth for this corporation when the percentage of engaging men in senior development position was at 25% in 2010.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'tangible progress'.
Suggestion: tangible progress
... 2010. Moreover, Microsoft did not show a tangible progress in 1995 and 2000. Even though, this com...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 618, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...evelopment position was at 25% in 2010.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 6.8 88% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 5.60731707317 196% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 34.0 33.7804878049 101% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 3.97073170732 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 973.0 965.302439024 101% => OK
No of words: 198.0 196.424390244 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91414141414 4.92477711251 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.75116612262 3.73543355544 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9168492225 2.65546596893 110% => OK
Unique words: 106.0 106.607317073 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535353535354 0.547539520022 98% => OK
syllable_count: 270.9 283.868780488 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.33902439024 69% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 8.94146341463 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.4926829268 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.6075750331 43.030603864 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.3 112.824112599 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8 22.9334400587 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.23603664747 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 3.83414634146 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 1.69756097561 118% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 3.70975609756 189% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247285621274 0.215688989381 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111005776685 0.103423049105 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0945680200991 0.0843802449381 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218294447844 0.15604864568 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110625258117 0.0819641961636 135% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 13.2329268293 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 61.2550243902 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.3012195122 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 11.4140731707 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.06136585366 94% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 40.7170731707 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.4329268293 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.9970731707 87% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.