the graph below show the annual expenditure of university students in three countries in 2003

Essay topics:

the graph below show the annual expenditure of university students in three countries in 2003

The pie charts illustrate how much money is used annually by university students in three countries in 2003.

Looking at the graph,it is immediately obvious that money expended for accommodation in different countries registered the highest figure with the exception of that country C.Furthermore,Country C recorded the most significant difference among these services.

The expenditure for accommodation per student in country A stood at 45% ,which was 10% higher than that of country B .Money for books in country B, which was 12% , quadrupled than the figure for country A .In addition,money for leisure in country A ,B and money for other in country A ,B was not different much , 22%,20%,8%,6% respectively .Compare to 22% for food in country A, food in country B accounted for 27%

In country C , money consumption per student in others was the lowest with 1% .Compare to 12% of leisure ,the percentage of money for food was triple than the figure for leisure in country C. The proportion of accommodation and books were 31% and 21% respectively.

Votes
Average: 8.7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 21, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...ountries in 2003. Looking at the graph,it is immediately obvious that money expen...
^^^
Line 3, column 139, Rule ID: WITH_THE_EXCEPTION_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'except' or 'except for'
Suggestion: except; except for
...countries registered the highest figure with the exception of that country C.Furthermore,Country C re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Furthermore
...re with the exception of that country C.Furthermore,Country C recorded the most significant...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Country
... exception of that country C.Furthermore,Country C recorded the most significant differe...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 72, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...on per student in country A stood at 45% ,which was 10% higher than that of countr...
^^
Line 7, column 117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ch was 10% higher than that of country B .Money for books in country B, which was ...
^^
Line 7, column 119, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Money
... was 10% higher than that of country B .Money for books in country B, which was 12% ,...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 162, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ey for books in country B, which was 12% , quadrupled than the figure for country ...
^^
Line 7, column 205, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...quadrupled than the figure for country A .In addition,money for leisure in country...
^^
Line 7, column 207, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...adrupled than the figure for country A .In addition,money for leisure in country A...
^^
Line 7, column 218, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , money
...an the figure for country A .In addition,money for leisure in country A ,B and money f...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 249, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... addition,money for leisure in country A ,B and money for other in country A ,B wa...
^^
Line 7, column 285, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ry A ,B and money for other in country A ,B was not different much , 22%,20%,8%,6%...
^^
Line 7, column 311, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r in country A ,B was not different much , 22%,20%,8%,6% respectively .Compare to ...
^^
Line 7, column 340, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ferent much , 22%,20%,8%,6% respectively .Compare to 22% for food in country A, fo...
^^
Line 7, column 342, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Compare
...rent much , 22%,20%,8%,6% respectively .Compare to 22% for food in country A, food in c...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ry B accounted for 27% In country C , money consumption per student in others...
^^
Line 11, column 78, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...student in others was the lowest with 1% .Compare to 12% of leisure ,the percentag...
^^
Line 11, column 80, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Compare
...udent in others was the lowest with 1% .Compare to 12% of leisure ,the percentage of mo...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 105, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...owest with 1% .Compare to 12% of leisure ,the percentage of money for food was tri...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, look, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 7.0 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 6.8 44% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 33.7804878049 77% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 3.97073170732 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 891.0 965.302439024 92% => OK
No of words: 173.0 196.424390244 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15028901734 4.92477711251 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62669911048 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.30007023936 2.65546596893 124% => OK
Unique words: 91.0 106.607317073 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526011560694 0.547539520022 96% => OK
syllable_count: 254.7 283.868780488 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 3.36585365854 59% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 8.94146341463 45% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 22.4926829268 191% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 213.087423374 43.030603864 495% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 222.75 112.824112599 197% => OK
Words per sentence: 43.25 22.9334400587 189% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 5.23603664747 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 1.69756097561 1178% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.09268292683 24% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232145555614 0.215688989381 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.155988660765 0.103423049105 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.130273674812 0.0843802449381 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178338496345 0.15604864568 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108288335956 0.0819641961636 132% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.5 13.2329268293 185% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.29 61.2550243902 59% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 6.51609756098 200% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.9 10.3012195122 183% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.48 11.4140731707 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.06136585366 111% => OK
difficult_words: 35.0 40.7170731707 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 11.4329268293 175% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 10.9970731707 175% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.0658536585 181% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.