The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Essay topics:

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Hi teacher, I am a new one here. I am going to have an IELTS exam next month. Could you revise my IELTS essay? Thank you very much.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of people in three countries at the age of 65 or more during the period from 1940 and 2040.

Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the percentage of population aged 65 years and over in each country was expected to witness an upward trend over the time frame. Additionally, the figure for Japan was predicted to experience the most dramatic change.

In 1940, the percentage of the population at the 65 years old or more in the US stood at approximately 10%. The figures for Sweden and Japan were lower, at around 7% and 5% respectively. There was a gradual increase in the proportions of elderly people in the US and Sweden over the next 50 years, reaching just 15% under 15% in 1990. By contrast, the percentage of Japanese population aged 65 years and over remained below 5% until the early 2000s.

In the future, prediction reveals that Japan will register a sudden rise in the proportion of elderly people, producing a peak of roughly 27% in 2040. This figure will be followed by about 25% of Swedes and 23 of Americans.

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Average: 6.7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the time frame. Additionally, the figure for Japan was predicted to experience th...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
look

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.0 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 1.00243902439 299% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 6.8 132% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 5.60731707317 196% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 33.7804878049 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 3.97073170732 176% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1018.0 965.302439024 105% => OK
No of words: 221.0 196.424390244 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60633484163 4.92477711251 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.85565412703 3.73543355544 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60806252441 2.65546596893 98% => OK
Unique words: 130.0 106.607317073 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.588235294118 0.547539520022 107% => OK
syllable_count: 306.0 283.868780488 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 1.53170731707 261% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 8.94146341463 145% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.4926829268 76% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.0113596563 43.030603864 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.3076923077 112.824112599 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0 22.9334400587 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.307692307692 5.23603664747 6% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.09268292683 244% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.269166944394 0.215688989381 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0753508589056 0.103423049105 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0999288077004 0.0843802449381 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13977584415 0.15604864568 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104267617946 0.0819641961636 127% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 13.2329268293 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 61.2550243902 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.3012195122 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.16 11.4140731707 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.06136585366 94% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 40.7170731707 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.4329268293 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.9970731707 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.