IELTS Task 1 Topic Rates of smoking in Someland

Essay topics:

IELTS Task 1
Topic: Rates of smoking in Someland.

The line graph compares changes in the rates of somkers between two genders in Someland from 1960 to 2000.

Overall, the smoking rate of men decreased considerably while the figure for women increased over the period of 80 years. Desptie some fluctuations, the percentage of male still remainded higher than that of female.

In the 1960-2000 period, the rates of somking in Someland witnessed a gradual decline in case of men, although this gender was always the major consumer throughout the period. The rate of male smokers accounted for 60% in 1960 and fell significantly to around 200 people per 1000 people in 2000, slightly higher than that of women.

Over the same period, the proportion of women who smoked in Someland varied more remarkably than that of men. This figure rose from 10% in 1960 to almost 30% in 1975, which was its highest point during 40-year period. Throughout the remainder of the period, there was a progressive decline in the female rate, falling to exactly 20% in the end of the preriod.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (15 votes)
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2020-08-13 sin123321 90 view
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Essays by user Le Nguyen Dieu Linh :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The line graph compares changes in the r...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ders in Someland from 1960 to 2000. Overall, the smoking rate of men decreas...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...emainded higher than that of female. In the 1960-2000 period, the rates of so...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...0, slightly higher than that of women. Over the same period, the proportion of ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, so, still, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 6.8 15% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 33.7804878049 112% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 855.0 965.302439024 89% => OK
No of words: 174.0 196.424390244 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91379310345 4.92477711251 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.63192868298 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51223061879 2.65546596893 95% => OK
Unique words: 104.0 106.607317073 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597701149425 0.547539520022 109% => OK
syllable_count: 245.7 283.868780488 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.33902439024 138% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.4926829268 93% => OK
Sentence length SD: 26.5303481884 43.030603864 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.875 112.824112599 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.75 22.9334400587 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.5 5.23603664747 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157983522514 0.215688989381 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0734943952909 0.103423049105 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512996668058 0.0843802449381 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105420127603 0.15604864568 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0147808800505 0.0819641961636 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.2329268293 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 61.2550243902 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.3012195122 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 11.4140731707 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.06136585366 109% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 40.7170731707 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.4329268293 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.9970731707 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.