The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

Submitted by Sarvinoz9 on Tue, 01/26/2021 - 07:13

The pie charts illustrate small items in online shopping sales in New Zealand during the period 2003 to 2013. It was measured in percentages.

Overall, it can be seen that, in 2003 travel sales were in higher percents than 2013 sales. However film and music sales were around enormous rates these sectors over the period.

In 2003, retail sectors of travel was purchased at the percentage of 36. Afterwards, by 2013, these sales dropped dramatically to the amount of 29%. Film and music sales were bought in small items the percentage of 21 by people in 2003. By 2013, these sales increased significantly with higher results. It was at the percentage of 33%. Books were sold in retail sectors among people. There was slight rates of sale than other sectors the percentage of 19. Online book sales increased slightly the amont of 22%. In Online shopping. clothe sales for retail experienced higher percents than book sales. However these rates did not increase as book sales. These sales were around percentage of 16.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ere in higher percents than 2013 sales. However film and music sales were around enormo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 532, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Clothe
...y the amont of 22%. In Online shopping. clothe sales for retail experienced higher pe...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Online shopping. clothe sales for retail experienced higher percents than book sa...
^^
Line 5, column 602, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ienced higher percents than book sales. However these rates did not increase as book sa...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.0 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 6.8 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.15609756098 32% => OK
Pronoun: 9.0 5.60731707317 161% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 33.7804878049 95% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 3.97073170732 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 851.0 965.302439024 88% => OK
No of words: 172.0 196.424390244 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9476744186 4.92477711251 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62144681703 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41039387817 2.65546596893 91% => OK
Unique words: 89.0 106.607317073 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.517441860465 0.547539520022 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 251.1 283.868780488 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 1.53170731707 392% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 4.33902439024 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 8.94146341463 179% => OK
Sentence length: 10.0 22.4926829268 44% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.0 43.030603864 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 53.1875 112.824112599 47% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 10.75 22.9334400587 47% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 0.9375 5.23603664747 18% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 3.83414634146 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.09268292683 318% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338566736453 0.215688989381 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111625405986 0.103423049105 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105587193826 0.0843802449381 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.262811232624 0.15604864568 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114229556448 0.0819641961636 139% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.3 13.2329268293 55% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.79 61.2550243902 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.3012195122 58% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.25 11.4140731707 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.06136585366 90% => OK
difficult_words: 34.0 40.7170731707 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 11.4329268293 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.0 10.9970731707 55% => Gunning_fog is low.
text_standard: 6.0 11.0658536585 54% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.