Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievement. Some say taking then as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievement. Some say taking then as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Celebrities are actually public figure in their society. Actually not only for society they are the public figure. For me, if someone become public figure they have to give good thing and good achievement to the other people. But, in a fact in our country so many celebrities seldom getting a good achievement in their aducation. They only think about popularity, monet, wealthy and fashion/ appearance. Maybe for them, education is not really important. So many celebrities they aren’t finished their education first or postpone their education. There are only from senior high school, or university but didn’t finish yet. Or junior high scool. But they don’t care about their background of their education.

Some people never think about their education background. Because they only looking at the celebrities face, voice, body and appearances. I think the most important requrement become ceelebrities not their education but from their face, voice and they are enjoyable to the other people. But i’m not with their agreement because we start from that, it will influence to the young generation in this country. Nowaday many TV’s program is nonsense, talk show, music show, reality show,sinetron, flm, there is seldom about program for education. That program is not bring up the young become good generation.

In the last, i can conclude, don’t let young people in around us kill their time with watching television is there are nonsense programs. Alaways overseethe young people around us, don’t let them addicted about TV or the other magic box. Young people esay to become like as thier idol.

Actually all of that are not dangerous if we always protect our body, our brain, our activity to keep far from magic box. Always keep our body, our brain, our family from negative influence from mmagic box near of us.

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Celebrities are actually public figure in their society.
Celebrities are actually public figures in their societies.

if someone become public figure
if someone becomes public figure

so many celebrities seldom getting a good achievement in their aducation
so many celebrities seldom are getting a good achievement in their aducation

Because they only looking at the celebrities face
Because they are only looking at the celebrities face

don't let young people in around us kill their time with watching television is there are nonsense programs.
don't let young people around us kill their time with watching television if there are nonsense programs.

Sentence: But, in a fact in our country so many celebrities seldom getting a good achievement in their aducation.
Error: aducation Suggestion: education

Sentence: They only think about popularity, monet, wealthy and fashion/ appearance.
Error: monet Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Or junior high scool.
Error: scool Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: I think the most important requrement become ceelebrities not their education but from their face, voice and they are enjoyable to the other people.
Error: ceelebrities Suggestion: celebrities
Error: requrement Suggestion: requirement

Sentence: Nowaday many TV's program is nonsense, talk show, music show, reality show,sinetron, flm, there is seldom about program for education.
Error: flm Suggestion: film
Error: sinetron Suggestion: intern

Sentence: Alaways overseethe young people around us, don't let them addicted about TV or the other magic box.
Error: overseethe Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Young people esay to become like as thier idol.
Error: esay Suggestion: say
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Always keep our body, our brain, our family from negative influence from mmagic box near of us.
Error: mmagic Suggestion: magic

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 156 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1468 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.782 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.059 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5