children today are too dependent on computer and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastime than spending all day indoors.

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children today are too dependent on computer and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastime than spending all day indoors.

Last weekend I was invited to a birthday celebration of twelve years old kid and I was so exited to got there. even if I am an adult I love to be with kids. I imagined that the place will be more enjoyable with singing, dancing and interesting games that we used to play during our childhood. My expectation was wrong, but i was not totally dissapointed because there was a happy and loud birthday singing. All the kids were with i-pods, i-pads, tablet PC's, and smart phones belong to their elders. They played video games and browsed internet for their favorite movies, cartoon characters, favorite foods etc. The place was silent and boring for most of the time. Kids were busy with tapping their electronic companions.

That is only one incident out of hundreds of incidents which involve with kids and their electronic entertainment. One of the great scientist Albert Einstein told the advancement of the technology will lead to a group of idiots.When we look around we feel as his saying has come true. Huge percentage of population lives in urban areas and they have limited space to live. Most of them don't like to send their kids out to play. Development of high ways, increase of vehicle usage and fast spread of illegal issues avoid parents from sending kids out and they tempt to entertain their children with expensive electronic equipments.

From last two-three decades the amount of children playing out side has decreased gradually. What they do inside their houses? They spend most of their time with computer, television or else mobile phone of the elders. Parents spend much money on electronic gadgets kids needed and spend more money to cure their unhealthy obese children.

This is a very tragic situation in the current society and it needs to be changed immediately. Encouraging children for out door sporting can be the best solution. Not having enough space to play can't be a good excuse. Parents can motivate their children to take part in spots clubs or else they can help kids to select suitable sports events which provide from school. Children can save-up the wasted time on computer and illnesses, sports will make them more energetic and productive.

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and I so exited to got there.
and I was so exited to got there.

That is only one incident out of hundreds of incidents involve with kids and their electronic entertainment.
That is only one incident out of hundreds of incidents which involve with kids and their electronic entertainment.
That is only one incident out of hundreds of incidents involving with kids and their electronic entertainment.

This is very tragic situation
This is a very tragic situation

can be a best solution
can be the best solution

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1767 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.763 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.619 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.15 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5