Living in big cities has a negative effect on people health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Essay topics:

Living in big cities has a negative effect on people health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Undoubtly, health means that to fitness mentally as well as physically. Famous axiom here, "health is wealth". Today, bad health is being suffered by city people. So, I partially agree with this statement that metro city's people have negative impact on people's health. I would like to elaborate my view in these paragraphs below.

To commence with, there are myriad reasons behind it. Primarily, people of city are not bother about nature. Apart from nature, they want to lead to luxury life. Reason being, deforestation are being grown for using household things such as stylish furniture. Consequently, environment would be polluted and they will not consume fresh air. Moreover, there are myriad diseases will be increased in our society like asthma, t.b. and breathing problem and many more.

Further emphasising my view that puff of smoke occurs in various ways such as smoking, vehicle, industries and so on. For instance, every single person has own vehicle, which give up smoke more. What is more, cigarettes smoking has been taken by teenager, such kind of smoke create ample bad health problem. In consequence, this smoke will be slowly damaged our life.

Other school of thought, some critics consider that who are living in big city, those people has not negative effect on health. There are plentiful reasons behind this. Firstly, metro city people are more cognisant about health. In addition to it, Government provides many facilities of medicals beside free check up for all ages people. As a result, people would be paid more attention on health.

To sum up, I have discussed above about health these proves are enough for explain bad health. Therefore, I want to suggest to bog city people that they should be paid highly concentration on health so that they lead to healthy lives.
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Comments

people of city are not bother about nature
people of city do not bother about nature

there are myriad diseases will be increased in our society like asthma
there are myriad diseases which will be increased in our society like asthma

which give up smoke more
which gives up smoke more

such kind of smoke create
such kind of smoke creates

people would be paid more attention on health.
more attention would be paid by people on health.

this smoke will be slowly damaged our life.
this smoke will be slowly damaging our life.

I have discussed above about health these proves are enough for explain bad health.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

that they should be paid highly concentration on health
that they should pay highly concentration on health

Sentence: Further emphasising my view that puff of smoke occurs in various ways such as smoking, vehicle, industries and so on.
Error: emphasising Suggestion: emphasizing

Sentence: Firstly, metro city people are more cognisant about health.
Error: cognisant Suggestion: cognizant

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13 21.0
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 299 350
No. of Characters: 1452 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.158 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.856 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.364 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.726 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5