Some people believe that violent sports such as boxing or whitewater rafting should be banned because they endanger the lives of the sportsmen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that violent sports such as boxing or whitewater rafting should be banned because they endanger the lives of the sportsmen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Even though violent sports appear as a dangerous sport, there are several reasons not to ban. Some people would consider sports as a violent; as you can see that a lot of sportsmen are retired due to their injuries. However, due to this reason, should we ban such a sport? I completely disagree with this statement.

Every sport has levels. For example, boxing or whitewater rafting is considered as a heavy sport. Also, there is an extreme sport classification, which is a bungee jumping, sky-diving or car rally racings. If you are looking at boxing and sky-diving, which one you will be thinking as a dangerous sport? Most people would say sky-diving as a dangerous sport, but, for violent issues, people would choose for boxing. People believe that by just look at the action of the sport think as a violent. However, any sports can be seen as a violent.

Like the one mentioned before, the violent sports which endanger lives are completely different. Boxing and white water rafting might only results in some fatal injuries to the sportsmen whereas sky-diving or car rally racings might kill people. Even though the boxers have critical injuries, is this as bad as someone get crashed by car? In my point of view, all the sportsmen are all aware of the circumstances. Even if they aware of the risks of the sports, but they still play it, according to me this means that they are accepting any consequences. In my perspective, sportsmen have accepted with their circumstances and acknowledge with all future consequences there are no rights of restricting those activities.

Overall, the sports that are violent are different from the sports that are fatal to the lives of the sportsmen. Some people claimed that such sports should be banned for the sake of the sportsmen, however, I claim as should not. Sports are created by a human being, which means that if any man who does not want to play sports, then does not have to play such a violent and extreme sport. All these sports are the choice made by the sportsmen who are aware of circumstances.

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2015-09-13 YS89 87 view
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as a violent
as a violence

People believe that by just look at the action of the sport think as a violent.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

However, any sports can be seen as a violent.
However, any sports can be seen as a violence.

Boxing and white water rafting might only results in some fatal injuries
Boxing and white water rafting might only result in some fatal injuries

Sentence: Even if they aware of the risks of the sports, but they still play it, according to me this means that they are accepting any consequences.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and aware

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 160 200

The conclusion is like an introduction, you can simply put the conclusion like:
'Because of the reasons A and B mentioned above, so i support violent sports.'

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1653 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.521 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5